In Texas, the Austin Independent School District has decided to rename Robert E. Lee Elementary, and while that decision was itself controversial, that's not what this story is about. This is about the fact that, for reasons unbeknownst to all, they asked the public to chime in online with suggestions. The result was...predictable. Here's a very partial list of what the community is suggesting (even more names below).
Now, Bruce Lee was a pretty cool guy and John Cena actually holds the Make A Wish Foundation's record for visiting the most sick kids (Drew Brees is fine, whatever). Schoolie McSchoolface is obviously a nod to Boaty McBoatface, but clearly the cherry on this bad-idea sundae is the Adolf Hitler School For Friendship And Tolerance. Good job, Internet.
Here are the top 10 entries right now, plus some more gems according to KXVN:
- Donald J. Trump Elementary: 45 nominations
- Robert E. Lee Elementary: 34 nominations
- Russell Lee Elementary: 32 nominations
- Harper Lee Elementary: 30 nominations
- Elisabet Ney Elementary: 15 nominations
- Lee Elementary: 13 nominations
- Adolf Hitler School for Friendship and Tolerance: 8 nominations
- Waller Creek Elementary: 8 nominations
- Dr. Frances J. Nesmith Elementary School: 7 nominations
- Guy Bizzell Elementary: 6 nominations
Some of the more notable, but less voted names include:
Adam Lanza’s School of Fun, Bee Movie, Bleeding Heart Liberal Elementary, Boaty McBoatface Elementary School, Forgetting the Past Dooms You to Repeat It Elementary, Garfunkel, Hypothetical Perfect Person Memorial Elementary School
So, if you ever wonder why Southern states are taking so long to get rid of the Confederate flag, maybe it's because they're afraid the citizens will vote to replace it with a crude drawing of genitalia. Because, let's face it, that's what we'd do.