These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
Advertising

Whether you're in your post-college years or in your mid-forties and sleeping in your old room at your parents' house, the roommate situation is a hotbed of hostility and spoiled-food-borne illness. Eventually, the unwashed dishes and random pubic hair discoveries become too much to bear, and accusations and apologies are exchanged in pointed, often wonderfully clever notes. Here are some of our favorites that reveal way too much about the gross ways in which non-sex-having humans tend to co-habitate.

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
Every apartment should come with this.
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
True friendship.
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
The best way to avoid doing chores.
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
Ayyyy lmao.
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
Thanks for the heads up!
Advertising


 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
Nothing like a mother's love.


 


alt
Please be chocolate, please be chocolate… (via)
 


Advertising

alt
In the prison yard, mugs equal prestige. (via)
 


alt
Nobody loves the fridge! (via)
 


alt
I've made the same list when I was stone sober. (via)
 


alt
This is an aristocratic household. Kettle Corn only! (via)
 

Advertising

alt
This could lead to your broke roommate supplementing his income by stuffing rags down the toilet every morning. (Via)
 


alt
Your roommates are here for you Fat Dan. Helping you is delicious. (Via)
 


alt
The day Rob helped Matt go from arachnophobe to agoraphobe. (Via)
 


Advertising

alt It's a fun living situation when everyone gets their own tp-buying logo. (Via)
 


alt
These dudes should offer their services to help fight Matt and Rob's spiders. (Via)
 


alt
By the looks of Alex, it might never be alcoholism for him. (via)
 


alt
Sounds like a fair, creepy deal. (via)
 

Advertising

alt
The title begins with "Roommate took Adderall..." (via)
 


alt
When grieving over Buffy's loss gets awkward. (via)
 


alt
Card? He deserves a trophy. (via)
 


Advertising


alt
To clarify, Jesse's mom makes pies, does not want him dead. (via)
 


alt
This may as well say "look in the garage!" (via)
 


alt
Not all Dads are comfortable saying "I love you." (via)
 


alt
"Mom/Dad [illegible]" - Your Drunk Daughter (via)
 

Advertising

alt
Thanks for the heads up, Richard. (via)
 


alt
Letter from a Birmingham kitchen. (via)
 


alt
She forgot the part about cake. (via)
 


Advertising

alt
Noted, Grumpy Roommate. (via)
 


alt
When Dad finds Mom's to-do list. (via)
 


alt
I would leave it on just for the thrill of it. (via)
 


alt
That's like a regular stopper, only angrier. (via)
 

Advertising

alt
This is going to be one paranoid flu season. (via)
 


alt
Looks like one steak will do. (via)
 


alt
Passive, aggressive, and beautiful. (via)
 


Advertising

alt
Definitely beats a sticky note. (via)
 


alt
To err is human, to forgive is bacon. (via)
 


alt
Looks like we need bananas... and paper. (via)
 


alt
Shitty poetry. (via)
 

Advertising

alt
On the other hand, brownies! (via)
 


alt
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Pops. (via)
 


alt
And look for an apartment like you live with a psycho. (via)
 


Advertising

alt
Typical delicious/aggressive behavior. (via)
 


alt
A few more letters and it would've been done, dick. (via)
 


alt
Fucking love you too, Dad. (via)
 


alt
Thanks for the "$5.00," Colleen! (via)
 

Advertising

alt
A stoner roommate could read that the wrong way. (via)
 


alt
Impressive, if he actually reached the milk.(via)
 


alt
Why, when there's a perfectly usable sheet left? (via)
 


Advertising

alt
Too good to be mad about. Unless it's not head hair. (via)
 


alt
Hope he likes cold pizza. (via)
 


alt
That looks oddly delicious. Also, "honeys" count as roommates when they act like this.

(via)
 


These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
Advertising

The artist couldn't sign his work due to a broken hand. (via)
 


These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

My instincts tell me that was no accident. (via)
 


These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

Or, you could've just written "pay bills." (via)
 

Advertising

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

A sign that you're probably too old to have roommates. (via)
 


These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

"I could change the roll, or take out my phone and..." (via)
 


Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

It's impossible to read that without hearing his voice. (via)
 


alt
It's the thought that counts. (via)
 


alt
Thanks for the pancakes, Mr. Pinkman. (via)
 


Advertising

alt
The man in the mirror is a huge dick. (via)
 


alt
Yep, that says "puke." (via)
 


alt
Even his notes stink. (via)
 


alt
First line of the worst porno ever. (via)
 

Advertising

alt
Mistakes are life's tasty lessons. (via)
 


alt
"Why yes, toilet paper roll, I -- dammit!" (via)
 


alt
The old "How to Get Your New Roommate Naked with a Spider Note" trick. (via)
 


Advertising

alt
"Ew, ew, Captain." (via)
 


alt
Good luck with that auto-erotic asphyxiation. (via)
 


alt
TL;DR already packing my stuff. (via)
 


alt
I guess the short answer is "maybe?" (via)
 

Advertising

alt
Great weed. Bad idea. (via)
 


alt
You would, dick head. (via)
 


alt
"Who's been slut-shaming my soda?" (via)
 


Advertising

alt
How many ways are there to use a plunger, Kevin? (via)
 


alt
I've always wondered how to play craps. (via)
 


alt
I bet this guy is high maintenance. (via)
 


alt
If a sock means "sex," I don't want to know what this is for. (via)
 

Advertising

alt
I've had roommates that would see this and think "pan roasted dove!" (via)
 


alt
This message is probably more for the guys. (via)
 


alt
Smart Water for a smart ass. (via)
 


Advertising

alt
How a true butthole pays his rent. (via)
 


alt
Given a choice, I'd rather eat pizza that the cats nibbled on. (via)
 


alt
Things can't be that bad if you're still getting wi-fi. (via)
 


alt
If these get eaten it's time for a new roommate. (via)
 

Advertising

alt
Not bad, but it may get confusing when you try to store poops. (via)
 


alt
It that's where they keep the milk, tossing it might not be a bad idea. (via)
 


alt
Not cool. But at least you get to eat the Pixie Sticks. (via)
 


Advertising

alt
Ouch. You just got out passive-aggressioned.

 


alt
Um...are there drugs in it?
 


alt
In this case, honesty is the weirdest policy.

 


alt
Pretty nice of them to capture it, actually.

 

Advertising

alt
They don't. Someecards probably does, though.

 


alt
No smiley face, Cindy?

 


alt
Also, boyfriends are like dirty clothes; don't leave yours on the floor.

 


Advertising

alt
"I feel more comfortable complaining about the notes by note."
 


alt
I'm impressed it responds to anything at all.

 


alt
Great method for dealing with lazy ant roommates.

 


alt
Then I have to get my shit together enough to actually clean it. Two-three weeks?

 

Advertising

alt
Pretty cheap for either.

 


alt
You don't need to have roommates for this to be a terrific idea.
 


alt
The most considerate possible reaction to finding your roommate peed all over the floor.
 


Advertising

alt
Seems like a much, much grosser solution than just flushing.

 


alt
The spider was in the midst of writing his own tiny note:
"Got stuck in god damn cereal today...fuck."

 


alt
Because pooping just isn't exciting enough.

 


alt
Chris may be going to the gay club, but he likes boobs, you understand?

 

Advertising

alt
Not sure that post-script was necessary.
 


alt
Hunter, live up to your name!
 


 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
Advertising

Better than: "Give a call or you might see a ball."
 


 

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

altHe died as he lived: with power tools.
 


Advertising

alt

 

 

altBut evidently not magnetic poetry.
 


alt

 

Advertising

 

altYeah right, like anyone's gonna steal a Lean Pocket over a French bread pizza.
 


altalt
With the cost of avocados today, that's only about a quarter for your trouble.
 


altalt
Please clean up your insects after yourself.
 


Advertising

altalt
Ooh, burned by a white board meme.

 


altalt
Also I prefer to be called Reginald, thanks.

 


altalt
Now that's just common disgusting courtesy.

 


altalt
It's worth it! It's stifling in here!

 

Advertising

altalt
We wouldn't want to be part of such a hairy roommate arrangement.

 


altalt
Why write 3 separate notes when all your issues can be encompassed in one?
 


These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

altalt
Beware. The spiders have their own tally.
 


Advertising

altalt
Monday night is trashnacht.
 


altalt
Clint starts fires!

 



altalt
As far as we're concerned, as long as his penis only touched the outside, it's still good.
 


 

Advertising

alt

altWait. We have a cat?
 


altalt
And bread and to come to terms with our parents' divorce.
 


altalt
We'd honestly prefer this type of sign to be set up on all tp-less toilets.
 


Advertising

altalt
4. Have craziest night ever!
 


altalt
It's the number for his Murderers Anonymous group.
 


altalt
No matter how bad they are, we still want one.
 


altalt
Unfortunately, that stuff looks like what's been on CNN every day.
 

Advertising

altalt
"FapNapping" needs no translation.
 


altalt
So, I'll just leave the knives there...and this note you can't read in the dark.
 


altalt
We'd rather be hunted by teens than chase a spider.
 


Advertising

altalt
Sorry. Cat available for petting trumps human in need of sleeping.
 


altalt
We stopped trusting you when you left us something to flush.
 


altalt
This could work out really well for the boyfriend.
 


altalt
Aim for the head.
 

Advertising

altalt
How does the artist know the shitter is jubilant?
 


altalt
Like that Al Pacino movie "Insomnia," except with smellier fingers.
 


altalt
She has loud sex that she has to apologize for AND access to cinnamon rolls? Want her life.
 


Advertising

altalt
Doing dishes sucks. We'll take the cocks.
 


altalt
Just do it, no matter what "it" may be.
 


altalt
Also enrolled you in a scientology course, hope that's cool!
 


altalt
No one is more concerned about Susie collecting cat piss than the cat.
 

Advertising

altalt
Not going to try and prove you wrong.
 


altalt
Joe already gives his teeth Flintstone chewables. He shouldn't be doubling up.
 


altalt
Many roommates have lost themselves in the endless piss-seat loop.
 


Advertising

altalt
Ben Kingsley was excellent in this kitchen.
 


altalt
This is considerate, and it doesn't judge those who do want such things.
 


altalt
Who can keep from passing out long enough for a hot pocket to cook?
 


altalt
The roommate is staring at that last sip, checking his watch, waiting...waiting...

 

Advertising

altalt
How can we add "or when you're awake" to the deal?

 


altalt
8:40, or, if you're into it, 8:45. Whatever works for you. I'm not a "rules" guy. Oops, vomiting.
 


altalt
Lease plainly states, "Write your 30 days notice on some cardboard before moving out."

 


Advertising

altalt
Jeff is bad at bribes.
 


altalt
11) No asking why I am this way. Just know that I have been hurt before and it won't happen again.
 


altalt
Raisin Bran tastes so much better carbonated.
 


altalt
High people tell the worst stories.
 

Advertising

altalt
No wonder Michael's catch-phrase is "I prefer to stand."
 


altalt
Seems legit.
 


altalt
Thank God "Peanut butter 4 my balls" wasn't included in "Sandwich Stuff."
 


Advertising

altalt
I think you're confusing your your Sammy LJ roles but the point still stands.
 


altalt
Average male-female rooming ratio: 80% of the fridge belongs to female, 80% consumed by male.
 


altalt
Does her/his roommate only have one fork? That might be the larger problem.
 


altalt
That means you, Alex. I'm saving this spider for when I get up in the morning!!!
 

Advertising

altalt
Let's just hope that there is an emergency and this person's life is improved by cleansing fire.

 


altalt
Thank you, Jay. Jaq? Jag? The point is, what a polite note of depravity.
 


altalt
Prophet Eric earlier prophesied a wrathful plague of deleted DVR episodes, and verily 'twas true.
 


Advertising

altalt
And it was then Chris realized the Boyz would never advance 2 Men.
 


altalt
Everyone spent the next few days walking very gingerly around the apartment.
 


altalt
And you thought younger generations don't send thank you notes anymore.
 


altalt
And from then on, Sajid would never wear underwear ever again.

 

Advertising

altalt
T.J really likes to sleep if the main issue with someone peeing on the floor is the noise it makes.

 


altalt
Thanks Brendon. Enjoy...um..."Fagtown?"

 


altalt
Use the wings you've been given to fly far away by the end of the month.

 

Advertising

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Nothing tears apart an apartment share like a baked good suicide.
 


altalt
If you have time to learn to read and write in English, you have time to clean your own puke.
 


altalt
Cockjuggling used to be big before Puppetry Of The Penis swept the nation.
 

Advertising

altalt
He seems like a good listener.
 


altalt
Trickle down government is trickling really far.
 


altalt
In our day a sock on the door handle meant "I Hope You Die" but we were classier then.
 


Advertising

altalt
Guess "All Of The Above" is fair game then?
 


altalt
Sad thing is the cashier at CPK wrote that.
 


These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

alt
Advertising

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

alt
Advertising

altalt
 


altalt
 


altalt


Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.

alt

< CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE >
 


These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

Advertising
These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising

 

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt

These are the greatest notes ever written by roommates.
alt
Advertising