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Over the weekend, Ghanaian soccer player Mohammed Anas accidentally thanked his wife and his girlfriend after winning the "Man of the Match" award. Safe to say he didn't win the "Man of Anything" award with either of his lovers after that mistake.

Since then, he's denied even having a girlfriend, and tried to explain what he meant in his victory speech, probably so he can stop sleeping on the couch. From BBC:

"My family knows that I call my daughter my girlfriend. That's what I was talking about. I don't have a girlfriend."

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Uh, ew, dude. He also said that things are "fine" between him and his wife of seven years:

"She is fine. She knows what kind of man I am so I am not worried."

What this guy doesn't know is that when a woman says she's "fine" what she really means is that she is actually so full of rage that she could shoot laser beams out of her eyes.

Sources: BBC