1. "We were being authentic to the characters of Sid and Nancy for our Halloween costumes."
Why'd they say a stupid thing like that: Actors Hamlin and Rinna went as Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen to George Clooney's Halloween party this year. Hamlin's costume included a t-shirt with a swastika on it, probably because he wanted to stay true to the character of Sid Vicious and also to find out if it's still too soon to wear a giant swastika t-shirt. The verdict? 36 years after Vicious's death, and it's still too soon. If a punk rocker couldn't pull it off, then a balding 64-year-old can't do it either.
2. "Whoever the last speaker was . . . I thought you were a bit condescending to us actors . . . celebrities. I’m gonna go on record with you just to say that. And I don’t give a f*ck who you are."
Who said it: Robert DeNiro, after being condescended to at an event on Wednesday
Why'd they say a stupid thing like that: The Oscar winner and grown man who should be able to handle a little light banter presented an award to Angelina Jolie at the Wall Street Journal Magazine Innovator Awards on Wednesday. He was not impressed by the guy who got an award right before her—Stewart Butterfield, the Canadian co-founder of Flickr. Butterfield said in his acceptance speech that he was the only "nerd" in a group of "supermodels and movie stars." He then told DeNiro that he "watched Godfather II on the plane" and "When you killed Don Fanucci, I liked that." DeNiro got on stage and stopped just short of telling the guy to f*ck off. Judging by his use of #lifegoals on his tweet of the incident, it stands to reason that Mr. Butterfield was not permanently wounded by the incident.
3. "This Britt Meddler, I don’t even know who that is, honestly. I wanted to immediately say ‘Who is this lady?’, but then I’m just fueling this negativity."
Who said it: Justin Bieber, in a Billboard cover story
Why'd they say a stupid thing like that: Bieber is apparently trying to start a celebrity feud he could never win with Bette Midler. Earlier this month, a nude pic of him leaked, which the Internet had quite a lot to say and meme about. As did Bieber's dad, who super creepily tweeted that he was a "#proud daddy" (like, because his son's dick is huge). Then, Bette Midler called Bieber's dad a dick. And now, here we are today, when Bieber has—supposedly inadvertently, but where's the proof?—mangled the diva's name.
4. "You know, I was generally a nice person, it's just that I had a very bad temper. So unless you were the victim of that temper, why would you know? Just because you happened to know me? That doesn't make any sense."
Who said it: Ben Carson, to CNN at a lunchtime book signing on Thursday
Why'd they say a stupid thing like that: CNN challenged the GOP Presidential candidate on Thursday about details of his story that he stabbed a close friend (or possibly a family member) when he was 14. Carson, not about to be tricked into saying he was a good kid, angrily insisted he's a stabber through and through. He knows America wants a President who isn't afraid to shiv a Secretary of State when it comes down to it. In other Carson is lying about stuff news, his campaign conceded today that he didn't really turn down a full scholarship to West Point, after Politico gently pointed out that there's no such thing.
5. "(ps broken nail)"
Who said it: Kylie Jenner, on her Instagram
Why'd they say a stupid thing like that: The reality star was trying to draw attention to the most important part of her sexy late-night Instagram post. No, not her thigh-brows, though they are #goals. Not her revealing outfit or the hints of a luxury lifestyle peeking over her shoulder. Her broken nail, pressed against her phone. Hey, broken nail's up here, fellas. For those of you looking to masturbate to an 18-year-old's ruined manicure, it's your lucky day.