I guess my parents must have had a 3D printer when I was growing up. (via)
At this point there isn't a moment of human experience that isn't photographed and instantly uploaded to Facebook for all to share. Life is contained in the Facebook photo albums now, so when you comment on a Facebook photo you're essentially commenting on life itself. You can choose to resignedly click "Like" on life like so many over-medicated cult members who are lying to themselves. Or you can do like the commenters gathered here, who deserve awards for their attention to detail and their willingness to turn a glimpse of another person's existence into something we can all laugh at.
Alfred Hitchcock's movies are super suspense. (via)
Texas, Delaware, Oklahoma...I don't get it. (via)
It's so temperate you could crack an egg on the sidewalk. (via)
Don't remember that costume from the movie... (via)
Part of a completely annoying breakfast. (via)
That's it, dear. Just keep playing dumb. (via)
No, but you certainly don't need a second weapon with those toenails around. (via)
Yep. Sounds complicated. (via)
82 is going to be a wake-up call, young lady. (via)
Nope. 12 weeks to go until it's summer and she can play with that beach ball! (via)
Cool. How much for your dick? (via)
He can't be trusted at house parties with acacia leaves. (via)
They served to protect his right to shop. (via)
Debbie dumpling downer. (via)
Sounds like a good deal unless it's purple. (via)
I want to see Facebook's translation of "LAZORCAT." (via)
Never going to sell that thing now. (via)
And is someone supposed to be Cupid in this scenario? (via)
Might've been. Wasn't. (via)
Get a storage closet! (via)
Google Glass? (via)
Think none of your friends has a snowboarding calendar? Think again! (via)
Plot twist: They're all copies of Fahrenheit 451. (via)
Not as long as his buddy lets him watch NFL games on his belly. (via)
Or maybe a walrus? (via)
No, your life is not significant. Get offline. (via)
At work? You have the best job ever. (via)
He enjoyed what he did. (via)
That would have offended non-toilets. (via)
So much more powerful than a promise ring. (Via)
Bae caught me fakin'. (Via)
Use every part of the Facebook. (Via)
Way to look past the darkness. (Via)
Dog couldn't even wear a tux to his own wedding? That's bad luck! (Via)
Maybe she's just avant garde, d-bag. (Via)
Someone send a life-raft. (Via)
Ken's a big reader. No canned spaghetti meal is going to make him give that up. (Via)
You must be more compassionate in your oil changes. (Via)
Prepare for ye credit card offers and Valpaks to be pillaged. (Via)
Still, at least she Googled it herself. Very talented Googling. (Via)
A sunset has to be really beautiful to get Heather to stop obsessing over poop shots. (Via)
Why old Photobomb Phil's been dead for decades now.
You got photobombed by a g-g-g-ghost! (Via)
Like you've never gotten excited after taking a really good butt-selfie. (Via)
Least they're not sitting around doing math! (Via)
Or, he died before achieving his dream of Jurassic Park being operational. (Via)
I think he just asked you out to dinner! (Via)
Guys don't need a lot of inspiration in that activity. (Via)
I certainly hope the tiny cat tipped well. (via)
You should see the pyramids. (via)
Wake up, sheeple! Why do you think there are so many cans? The aluminade! (via)
It looked like a salami. (via)
When will you grow up, Shannon? (via)
Spike knew. She always knew. (via)
That was very, very dangerous. But cool. (via)
I only hump American-made cars. (via)
The tattoo artist only knew how to do glittery spiders for some reason. (via)
If not great responsibility, at least more responsibility than that, surely. (via)
What if they mutate but they're still not that good at martial arts? (via)
I'm guessing this is the last time anyone makes the mistake of trusting you. (via)
I dunno, $20 still seems like a good deal. (via)
Well, that seems irrelevant, but good to know. (via)
Nope, not what that means. (via)
All the rest have 31, except February which has 52. (via)
It's just a very sad photo all around. (via)
I give them a week before they're posting photos of each other slippin. (via)
Why do I have the feeling this will take a while to explain? (via)
Also sometimes people are just sleepy. (via)
Unfriend this person before their posts become upsetting. (via)
Good thing I have my smart phone to document this. (via)
Philip Seymour Hoffman would probably have thought this was funny. (via)
A bargain at half the price. (via)
He's going to the great cardboard box in the sky. (via)
A.O. Scott does most of his reviews this way, too. (via)
"Oh!!! Pretty!" was the last words of many a gladiator. (via)
Reason #43,239 never to friend your mom, or son, on Facebook. (via)
The greened-out name is Santa, obvi. (via)
This is why the aliens will easily be able to overtake us. (via)
Kids today don't watch enough VHS's.
"Superficial aesthetic characteristics" = "She has giant boobs."
I always grew too attached to the sausages we raised on my farm as a child.
Why would you want to avoid a place with a ball pit?
It's true! M.J. really was out of this world!
ERECTION! How many times must I scream "ERECTION"?!
Could be anyone's ass, really.
Don't forget the Holey Bagel.
Earth is destroyed every year.
SMMTH. (Shaking my mutant turtle head.)
LOL why would someone invent a non-cordless phone?
Pics or it didn't happen.
Mr. Darren Buble has a nice ring to it. Swoon.
Oddly enough, that book IS junk.
Could lose a bit more if he put down the phone for a second.
Sells puppy to get better phone to take pictures of puppy on.
No, no, Timmy. Camels have humps.
Same basic shape, you know-it-all!
Rob may be a pussy, but he's no fool.
In case you were wondering, her account number is 3771-1745.
There are no awkward silences around that grasshopper.
Children our are future.
Seriously, 5 acres isn't even that many!
If your phone's in a smoothie, what did you take the photo with??
This commenter is now in a relationship with Youtube.
They were chillen' together. Cyberchillen'.
Tonight on Fat Cops, a young boy who's just killed a man seeks help from his mama...
This is actually why they picked her for the summer internship.
Their lizard fucking is truly beautiful though.
Remember when Neil DeGrasse Tyson had that ugly feud with 50 Cent at the planetarium?
Ew, drinking Union Jack sounds dusty.
And...if you're lazy?
Time to go back to your original profession as a taxidermist.
Every mother dreams of her toddler turning out sexy.
Honestly, that's what "Granddaughter" gets for posting that statistic.
They can be the same. Liking your own status on Facebook is a form of fapping.
Also, why did you marry such a heavy, finger-giving man in the first place?
No, stupid, the Italian flag says "Viva Italy!"
The only fun fact about Nazism, actually.
Screw white ghosts for oppressing all the minority ghosts.
It's a meta caption of a meta photo. Whoa.
Dogs have patience. Human dogs, less so.
What the hell did that bunny leave in your basket?
It's the legend of the ghost bridge! The bridge has returned from the dead for vengeance!
Looks like he took a break for some refreshment, and to steal your wallet.
The real tragedy is Walt letting his legotism control his decisions.
Welcome to your kitchen for the very first time. Now make some really spicy coffee.
Um, I've been leading a double life. I'm really a cheezy stock photographer.
This horrible relationship is making us hungry!
The GOP has decided to run a citrus in 2016.
His balls are really good listeners.
Thought you meant congrads on my bomb new lid, brah. But that marriage shit, yeah, LOL.
You have a new friend request from Galileo (Galileo) Galileo Figaro.
Bobby's obviously never done mescaline.
We usually name our pimple, Gus. Short for Disgusting.
Can we just switch our order to the spaghetti? If no one's had sex in it?
Even the cat looks angry that someone brought Blue Moon.
It's cool. He has a vagina underneath his left knee.
They're lucky he didn't just tie pistols to their feet.
Game of Thrones is bound to use this as a plot-point eventually.
She should end it with him. He clearly wishes he was dating Spider-Man.
The best way to stop forest fires is with a crapload of "likes."
Just having a pet dolphin would be enough for us. Or an Xbox, for that matter.
What would humans and ducks ally against? Swans?
Wrong. It's a framed picture of a mirror being photobombed by a ceiling fan.
Commenters love to shout at a hat out on a ledge.
We feel bad for twin girls. They can't ask kids on the playground to "come and play with us" without scaring the hell out of them.
"Don't miss Kohl's holiday blowout!" -John 3:16
Our grandma used to make a great soul loaf. So tender, so eternal.
We'd go with the Bieber. Just to learn the sequence of terrible decisions that led to him getting the same haircut as our sister's girlfriend.
Your Facebook friends: Misunderstanding deep-throating hamsters since 2006.
In nature you're never more than two inches away from poo. And by "nature" we mean "our office."
People aren't that impressed when you train a man-parrot to talk.
Peace in the Middle-East won't be achieved unless we all bond over the new C-class.
He had to introduce himself to all the Taco Bells in the neighborhood.
Still waiting for the day when this country will elect its first teensy president.
Oh the humanity.
No wonder his personals ad seeking "Women into baseball glove material" always went unanswered.
Looks like a girl in a bikini committing suicide to us. Eye of the beholder?
Another episode of "Blame Autocorrect Or Call Social Services?"
We're hungry and nauseous all at once.
Seriously, who are they flipping the bird at? The Bravo channel?
Like you'd still be able to see the top of the bridge.
Why does this racist sexual inadequacy panic quiz have to implicate Gamestop?
We thought every page on the internet was kind of called "Fapping."
Updated June 5, 2012: