The Texting Hat makes it look like you're engaged when you're actually looking at your phone, because texts are better than real people.

Great idea! (via Texting Hat)

Are you nostalgic for the time when people in the room with you actually made eye contact and spoke to you face-to-face? Well, I have some good news and some bad news. Bad news first: Technology is forcing us all to become human shells who will never be able to properly socialize in person again. But the good news is that we can pretend that's not happening and ignore the decline of the human race, thanks to the new Texting Hat!

The satirical Texting Hat site even includes a graphic instruction for how to make your own:

Sources: h/t Dangerous Minds | Texting Hat