This thief got knocked the eff out by a restaurant owner after stealing an iPhone from a customer.

This thief got knocked the eff out by a restaurant owner after stealing an iPhone from a customer.
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This thief got knocked the eff out by a restaurant owner after stealing an iPhone from a customer.

This thief is probably calling for his edamame. Eh? Eh?

This Chicago thief got a crash course in the "take out" menu the other night. Get it? Because he stole from a restaurant. And he was "taken out" by its owner. Okay, wait, no, I can do better than that. Hold on. Okay...

When this thief stole an iPhone from a patron of the Lincoln Park neighborhood's swanky sushi joint Juno, he found out what was on special. An ass-kicking! Delivered by restaurant owner and martial arts expert Jason Chan? No? You're right, that's awful. Maybe a sushi angle...

Don't "maki" this restaurateur mad or he'll "roll" you— Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Look, I'm just trying to figure out a clever way explaining how some dude grabbed an iPhone from a restaurant customer and then ran out only to have the restaurant's owner find him trying to pull the same shit in a pizzeria down the street and literally knock him out with a kick to the head.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

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