Stuart Lynn can handle a hot curry, okay? He can handle a curry so hot it'll burn your throat down to your feet and melt the bottom of your sneakers. He once licked the sun. He was just having a mild day, and wanted a curry to match. So Stuart went to local Indian place, Valentine Restaurant, and ordered a curry at the spice level he wanted in the moment. MILD. No further commentary necessary. Or so he thought! When he got home and unpacked his yummy meal (I'm getting hungrier as this article goes on, btw), he discovered his receipt, which had some very special instructions:
Naturally, Stuart was angry about what he believes the receipt is insinuating: white people can't handle the hot stuff. He told the Mirror:
"I was not happy at all - it said 'white people' next to my curry. It implies we can't deal with strong curries. I do like a hot curry sometimes. I just fancied a mild one for a change. I thought it was very rude of them.
"It was the first time I've been in there and I won't be going back."
As a white person, I would probably laugh about this, but Stuart is certainly entitled to his offense and boycott. This did remind me of being at dinner with my Mexican cousins, who had made two bowls of guacamole they told me were "mild" and "spicy." I went for the mild, knowing my own limits, and discovered it was about two-thirds jalapeño. I immediately began weeping. The spicy guacamole probably would have killed me. Very glad they were looking out for fragile white people, whose mouths and feelings get hurt very easily.
The restaurant, when questioned, insist that "ppl" means "milk" in restaurant slang. Uh, duh, obviously!
Owner Ruby Kandasamy said: "I have investigated and can confirm it a misunderstanding.
"Under white ppl, we don't mean white people, but a white sauce made from milk, single cream, coconut milk and spices we add to our dishes when a curry is requested mild.
"'Ppl' means 'milk.'
"However, we have decided to change the way we inform the kitchen and will mention 'add white ppl' or 'with white sauce' to avoid any confusion with our customers.
"We want to apologize to the customer for any inconvenience and misunderstanding, we hope the curry was nice and he or she will visit us again."
This explanation is actually far worse than the original offense. They're insulting Stuart Lynn's intelligence here, which is much worse than insulting his taste buds.