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UPDATE: It turns out that the texts Noah received were a prank from new friends he made at a football game that had just gotten his number. But the texts are still hilarious and will fill the Big Little Lies-shaped hole in your heart.

ORIGINAL POST:

On September 4th, young Twitterer Noah Paul was gifted with the best, most dramatic wrong number text of all time, having accidentally been sent insight into some Big Little Lies-caliber mom wars in a fancy cul-de-sac.

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Buckle up, Christi.

This raises so many questions.

What did Brittney do to precious Caitlin?

How does missing the cul-de-sac affect invitations to the rest of the season's social calendar.

On a scale of one to Reese Witherspoon, HOW passive-aggressive is the "hugs and kisses" sign off?

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Three hours later, Noah got an update, and the second episode is as glorious as the first.

The tweet went EXTREMELY viral, with other 345,000 likes, so it's possible that the real Christi ultimately sees Helen's strong words.

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The Christi & Brittney vs. Helen & Caitlin drama got the internet choosing sides.

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You bet that sh*t's gonna go down at the school's Elvis and Audrey-themed trivia night.