1. Separate User Profile.
Why would they insist on creating separate logins and still watch the same shows? Their instant cue doesn't consist of sub-par filler like Ice Road Truckers, Derek and some crappy, slow-moving British police drama. It's House of Cards, Sons of Anarchy and Mad Men! Worst of all, when you click on it, they're on Season 4. How is that even possible?
2. Backseat Watching.
You can't even get through an episode without them condescendingly saying things like “wait, you have to watch this part," “well, okay, if you think so," or “seriously, you're going to go to the bathroom now?!" It's almost as if they've watched this before. Because they have!
3. The Old Porn Switcheroo.
Their browser history is completely erased except for porn sites they've visited. Where are all the IMDb searches, fanatic discussion threads, and Onion A.V. Club episode reviews? Don't take the bait and start a fight over what they're obviously going to watch without you anyway. They're just craftily distracting you from the greater betrayal of what you've both committed to exclusively watch together.
4. Suggests Going to Bed after Major Cliffhanger.
Netflix isn't about restraining yourself to one episode per night, it's about binge watching until your legs cramp and your contact lenses infect your corneas. If your bae is ready to brush their teeth after a gut-wrenching season finale that leaves everything up in the air, they're blowing hot air. Only a psychopath could be so emotionally detached… or a cheater!
5. Keeps Pestering You to See What's on Amazon Prime.
Everyone knows that Netflix and Amazon Prime have 95% of the same exact content. If they keep bugging you to go there to browse for new series to watch, it's way worse than you thought. They've probably been having secret affairs for years.