The creepiest way to watch the Super Bowl together when you're long-distance.

The creepiest way to watch the Super Bowl together when you're long-distance.
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Your brother's fat, lifeless surrogate couldn't even bother to change out of his pajama pants?

This is gateway behavior. It starts with stuffing a sweater and pajama pants full of pillows and tissues, but soon that's not enough. Soon they're abducting people who look just like their Super Bowl viewing buddies so they can steal their skin and sew it back together into a real-skin couch pal. If someone's making a doll-person of you, just reach out to make sure they're doing okay. And at the very least, send them a better outfit to use than this one because, ew.

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