Professor's hilarious email to his student is a masterclass in how to ditch school for the Cubs' victory parade.
As the Cubs take to the streets of Chicago to parade their victory in front of their adoring (wasted) fans, no one's really going to school. That's an accepted fact. But when one student's "absent" email was extremely lackluster, a criminal justice professor at Trinity Christian College responded with a hilarious lesson in proper ditching.
I think what you meant to say is as a criminal justice student, you are very interested in how police handle large crowds. For this reason you have decided to get first hand research seeing the Chicago Police work with a large crowd. I think it is very commendable that you are so dedicated to criminal justice, that you are spending your time and money to do this important research.
Please be safe. Dr. Connelly.
Seriously though, "I won't be in class tomorrow because I'm going to the Cubs parade" is extremely half-assed. Still, it's the kind of thing you can pull off when hell freezes over—or the Cubs win the World Series.