As beautiful as Lochtegate was, all gates must close eventually; the lifecycle of an international dumbness scandal is all-too brief in this cruel, Tweet-filled world. And alas, Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte apologized this morning for claiming he had been robbed when actually, according to his teammates, he got into a fight after he vandalized a gas station.

Police still say they are planning to charge Lochte with providing false testimony about a crime. Saying "sorry" apparently doesn't solve everything.