I am a very funny coach, ya? (via Getty)

All eyes will be on today's World Cup match between the U.S. and Germany, and America's head coach, Jurgen Klinsmann, needs you to get out there and day-drink in support of the team you've been rooting for for two weeks now. He's gone ahead and provided this completely legit note to hand over to your "cool boss" before losing your job hitting the sports bar.