Women gymnasts are the best f*cking athletes on the planet. "B-b-but what about the male gymnasts? Aren't they technically stronger?" I hear you moan. Pah! Men's gymnastics is a completely different sport where they don't even have the best event, the balance beam, and their floor routines are boring and don't have music. I bet the male-only parallel bars smell like crotch sweat and the female-only uneven bars smell like Victoria's Secret PINK perfume. I love the sass, teamwork, and insane variety of skill that goes into being an elite gymnast—and as a small, 5'0" woman, I love watching young ladies who are, in many cases, even shorter than me kick ass and flip over vaults like a superhero. Oh my God, I'm getting emotional; let me just present to you the women's gymnastics moments that made me freak out the most over the past week:
1. Let's start with the obvious one: Aly Raisman's legendary first tumbling pass on her floor routine, something that was literally once thought impossible.
Here's The Wall Street Journal explaining every insane move that goes into it:
2. When Raisman's parents were adorably stressed out about the whole thing.
3. When the team told coach Martha Karolyi they gave themselves the name "Final Five" in her honor.
4. When Laurie Hernandez winked at the judges before her floor routine.
5. And when she told herself "I got this" before going on the beam.
6. And when she danced her heart out in the floor routine, leading people to say that she was "saving gymnastics dance."
7. And, to be honest, Laurie Hernandez, period.
8. Simone Biles recovering from a slight stumble to still treat the beam like a frickin' floor routine.
9. Oh, and let's not forget Maddie Kocian and Gabby Douglas, shining in the U.S.'s weakest event: the uneven bars.
As a reminder, Douglas placed third in the qualifiers and would have gone to the all-around finals if not for the idiotic two-per-country rule—her teammates Raisman and Biles placed second and first, respectively.