Kids are awful. Work is awful. Why not combine the two to create a hellish mash-up that everyone involved is sure to hate? People with children are forced to spend more time with their crummy kids, people without children are forced to tolerate other people's crummy kids, and crummy kids are forced to sit around a boring office with a bunch of tortured soulless husks. To help ease the tension, we've collected 19 inappropriate things for Take Your Kids to Work Day. Share your misery on Facebook and Twitter, but please, keep them away from the children. They've got enough to deal after seeing the miserable future that's most likely headed their way.
Don't sell yourself short, you'll probably be replaced by a 16 year-old... in Bangalore.
Office skills for the career-oriented child.
Good way to let someone know you may already be a great deadbeat dad.
It's called synergy!
Little jerk might as well start earning his keep.
"Kids, don't interrupt Daddy when he's in his crying place."
Usually we bring work home so we have an excuse to avoid nothing.
Or any other day, really.
Give your kids a reason to be disappointed in you for a change.
Let everyone know you're just as insufferable at home as you are at work.
Great way to let the creepiest guy in the office know he's the creepiest guy in the office.
A good education is the first step towards an excruciatingly mundane career.
"Daddy is working very hard to write a funny tweet because daddy needs validation."
Really go for it, though—rub some dirt on them before work and ask them to pretend to be deaf.
Also, sorry you're not childless.
They probably sing like crap, too.
"Show me how your put your head up your ass like Mommy always says!"