10. Powerline technician. "I know it's scary up here Samantha but don't worry, the electricity will kill you before the fall does."
9. Bunny Ranch prostitute. "Do you guys have any toys laying around to keep my son busy?"
8. Coal miner. "Here Charlie, take a drag from Daddy's cigarette so you don't breathe in that awful soot."
7. Homeland Security agent. "Sweetheart for the sixth time you cannot change the terror level warning based on which color you think is prettiest."
6. NASCAR driver. "Jake, can you reach over and change gears for Daddy? Careful not to send us into the wall again."
5. Russian hitman. "Nikolai, do Papa a favor and grab the prime minister's feet."
4. Meth cook. "Walter Jr. WHAT ARE YOU MIXING OVER THERE!?"
3. Suicide hotline operator. "Honey please quit tapping your toes, Mommy is trying to stop this man from— nevermind."
2. Animal tester. "Nick, do Daddy a favor and grab Mr. Hoppenheimer's feet."
1. Sperm donor. "I'm making you a brother! Possibly dozens of them."