God bless these moronic-looking idiots.
I don't like Insane Clown Posse. I think all their music sounds like the aural equivalent of diaper-filled garbage and that they themselves have the mental faculties of a couple dim toddlers. And I say this knowing practically nothing about them and having heard less than 0.03% of their music. Because, as an American citizen, I have a right to hold whatever idiotic opinion I want based upon whichever flimsy rationale pleases me. And nobody can do anything about it. Especially not the U.S. government, which was practically founded upon the principle of empowering large groups of morons with terrible opinions.
And that is exactly why these two dummies are American heroes right now. Let me explain.
By now, you've probably heard that the American Civil Liberties Union is helping ICP's Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope sue both the FBI and the Department of Justice for having classified Insane Clown Posse fans, or (sigh) "Juggalos", as gang members. Now, that may sound hilarious to you—and it is, because anything involving grown people who willingly leave the house in clown make-up and call each other "ninjas" is inherently hilarious to at least some degree—but it's also really important, because the government can't go pulling that shit on its own citizens.
Those weird-looking Faygo-drinking people have the same right to free speech, freedom of association and due process as you and I, which means that they should be able to stuff their ears with whatever shitty music they like and hang out with whatever group of infantile dumbasses makes them happy without getting harassed by the Man because they're supposedly in some gang. Today, it's their god-awful taste in music getting them harassed. Tomorrow, the government might decide that opinionated bald assholes who keep reading Watchmen over and over again can get punched in the neck for no reason, and then I'll be fucked. The day after that, it might be whatever shitty thing you like (and I don't know you, but I know for certain you like some shitty things). And I'm proud that we live in a country in which we have a process for stemming this tide before it gets out of control. And that ICP and the ACLU are doing the leg work, so that I can stay home and keep reading about Dr. Manhattan.
But, man, look at these idiots. Ugh! Why do do I have to defend them?!
(by Dennis DiClaudio)