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In today's fast-paced world of smartphones and perpetual war, forming nuanced opinions just takes too long. To save you time, Dan Abromowitz is reviewing movies before they premiere, based entirely on their trailers. You're welcome!

Not since the last Expendables movie have so many stars of The Expendables been gathered in one trailer! The irascible kick-ass-able rowdy big boys' tussle-buddy squad of rough-n-tumble muscle hunks is on their greatest adventure yet, doing something somewhere for somebody against somebody for some reason, and you better believe there's gonna be some helicopters.