Why not marry a partner who inhales morning breath and exhales oxygen?

Doing it loggie style. (via Twitter)

This Sunday, the Internet fell in love with this story about Emma McCabe, the woman who wants to marry a tree she has named "Tim," which/whom she claims is "the best sex I've ever had."

The only problem, besides the uncomfortable conclusions one must draw about how sex with a tree is accomplished, is that no one can find her anywhere. The story first went viral after it was tweeted out by user @MuLTi_EU as a slam towards a friend.

Emma and the popular poplar. (via Twitter)

Sources: Cosmopolitan | h/t Uproxx