Why Am I Trending? Ben Stein

Why Am I Trending? Ben Stein
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by Shira Rachel Danan

"Why Am I Trending?" gives voice to the people, organizations, and events that are trending topics right now, so they can explain why everyone is talking about them.

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What crazy shit will I say next?

Hello. My name is Ben Stein, and I'm trending because I called Barack Obama "the most racist president there has ever been in America."

Pretty provocative, huh? 

You might have freaked out when you saw I was trending today. You were probably worried I wanted to snuggle with another pregnant lady or produced another documentary explaining why the theory of evolution is to blame for the Nazis or said another unarmed black teen shot by police was "armed with his incredibly strong, scary self." Woo boy! I'm all over the place, aren't I?

Let me set your mind at ease. All I did was go on Fox News on Sunday and accuse America's first black president of being the most racist president we've ever had. 

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Come on. Admit it. You feel provoked. 

If you're still on the fence, you should know that I do include George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Polk, and the nine other presidents that owned slaves in that statement. At least none of them ever tried to get black people to vote for them in midterm elections by suggesting their party was more supportive of the rights of minorities! 

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Let's take a moment now to try to figure out why I'm even famous. Here's a list of reasons, off the top of my head:

- That one scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

- The show Win Ben Stein's Money

- All the crazy shit I've said

Since my movie and TV days are long gone, all I have left is saying absurd, unsupportable things to keep me in the limelight.

Look, I have nothing personal against our racist president or his racist cronies. In fact, I sat next to Eric Holder on an airplane once! Nice guy. We ended up watching Love, Actually side by side, and when I hit on the stewardess, he did his best not to laugh at what a pathetic old man I am. It's just that I genuinely, deep in the bottom of my heart, think Obama is a racist. Or at least I think that is a pretty wild thing to propose. 

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No? You still don't agree with me? Alright, fine. 

Bueller.

Happy now?

Sincerely,

Ben Stein

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