Donni Saphire has favorited (er, "liked") over 610,000 tweets on Twitter and he hearts them all equally. He slogs through every tweet so you don't have to.
It's that time of the week where Republicans debate! After a largely forgettable undercard where Bobby Jindal and Chris Christie traded trash talk, it was time for Rand Paul to rant about fiscal policy, Carly Fiorina to denounce Obamacare, and Donald Trump to reiterate his love of walls. Here are the top tweets from tonight's debate:
The only question in the undercard debate should be "Why are you bothering? Especially YOU, Pataki! But especially YOU, Jindal!"— Nick Mamatas (@NMamatas) November 11, 2015
#GOPDebate feels like the 'Transformers' franchise.— Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) November 11, 2015
2nd: Seen it.
3rd: Please stop.
4th: You actually get dumber by watching.
Good to see these candidates willing to take on those fat cats making minimum wage. #GOPDebate— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) November 11, 2015
Ted Cruz is America's most prominent indoors kid.— Peter Schultz (@pete_schultz) November 11, 2015
I love love love when people who literally want to be President of the United States talk shit about "Big Government."— bobby finger (@bobbyfinger) November 11, 2015
Ben Carson is emotionally disturbed and honestly America deserves that in a leader— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) November 11, 2015
Donald Trump: What we need is a wall and that wall will have a revolving door and they'll go out and come back but they'll be dizzy!— maura quint (@behindyourback) November 11, 2015
Ted Cruz: If you want to immigrate to America, do the decent thing and be a Cuban in the 1950s.— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 11, 2015
Kasich is the Jeb we need, Rubio is the Jeb we get, Trump is the Jeb we deserve.— Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) November 11, 2015
Marco Rubio is boring now, but wait til he finishes and Napoleon Dynamite breakdances. #GOPDebate— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 11, 2015
I love when candidates end their answers by directing us to their websites. It's like a cool, spoken banner ad!#GOPDebate— Colin Jost (@ColinJost) November 11, 2015
How do you abolish the IRS but still collect taxes? The honor system? #gopdebate— Tronald Dump (@ChrisCubas) November 11, 2015
Hoping the next question is, “How underrated is that second Bubba Sparxxx album?” #GOPDebate— Jensen Karp (@JensenClan88) November 11, 2015
Donald Trump is a free-trader, except that he hates free trade deals.— Robert Tracinski (@Tracinski) November 11, 2015
Rubio: "Democrats are out of ideas about the future. Now let me tell you about my tax cuts and middle east military interventions"— Christopher Hayes (@chrislhayes) November 11, 2015
Jeb Bush pulling a Marty McFly and slowly disappearing from the family photo.— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 11, 2015
Hasn't Trump seen World War Z? Wall's no good. Zombies or immigrants just pile up until they're taller than the wall, roll over it— MKupperman (@MKupperman) November 11, 2015
If you had a time machine would you kill Baby Iraq War?— Tim Carney (@TPCarney) November 11, 2015
Rubio: can I jump in here? I have some relevant stump speech to recite.— Franklin Foer (@FranklinFoer) November 11, 2015
Rand Paul: "I wouldn't arm ISIS."— John Noonan (@noonanjo) November 11, 2015
Well I suspect there's general agreement on that point.
Kasich: I have two 16 year old daughters. My point is, please don't make me go home.— Jonathan Chait (@jonathanchait) November 11, 2015
"We shouldn't have another financial crisis" Oh ok. Thanks— (((Will Cubbison))) (@wccubbison) November 11, 2015
Jeb is an extremely nervous American Idol contestant— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) November 11, 2015
Moderator: Do you believe that 2+2 = 4, like Hillary Clinton does?— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) November 11, 2015
Candidate: I wouldn't let the 2s get that close together.
If Ben Carson did surgery like he answers questions you'd wake up with extra limbs.— Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) November 11, 2015
So far cruz and rubio excelling again; bush improved but not particularly punching through; trump poor but it never seems to matter— Rich Lowry (@RichLowry) November 11, 2015
senator rubio, i just need to ask: do you love america?— Oliver Willis (@owillis) November 11, 2015
rubio: that's a great question maria. i just happen to have a speech ready. *wink*
They need to change the "time is up" sound to something that doesn't make it sound like they got a right answer on Jeopardy #GOPDebate— Ali Spagnola (@alispagnola) November 11, 2015
"This election is about the future. A future where Hitler never existed because we went back in time and killed him as a baby."— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) November 11, 2015
This has been the most painful discussion of monetary policy since William Jennings Bryan's Cross of Gold speech in 1896.— Nicholas Kristof (@NickKristof) November 11, 2015