Donni Saphire has favorited over 610,000 tweets on Twitter and knows them all by name. He judges everyone's attempts at zinging the zeitgeist so you don't have to.

It was a week of men acting like children, and children being named "Spurgeon." Dogs set world records, and nobody found that at all ironic. Women covered their roots with glitter and their faces with books. Read all about it: These are your top tweets of the week!