In Leroy, Minnesota, someone has stolen several scrotums worth of bull semen.
No bullshit. Just bullsperm. (via Thinkstock)
Actually, I don't know how much semen a bull scrotum holds, so I'm not 100% sure that it was several scrotums worth. But according to reports, someone stole one canister and several vials worth of bull semen, worth about $70,000. The semen was stolen from a barn sometime between April 1 and April 7, possibly on Easter Sunday. At the moment, there are no suspects.
Selling cattle semen and embryos for breeding is big business. Even 10 years ago, in 2005, "U.S. farmers spent about $225 million...on bull semen" according to Gordan Doak, the President of the National Association of Animal Breeders. I was first introduced to the concept of selling cattle semen a couple of years before that, in 2003, when I stayed in a small motel in rural West Virginia. One of the tourist materials in my room was a postcard with a picture of longhorn steer Mr. Immambo, advertising that his semen was for sale.
The text cuts off there, but I'm going to assume it says "he is now part of Gods private cow party."(via Dickinson Cattle Co)
Ever since I saw that Mr. Immambo postcard, I'll occasionally look up information on breeding cattle and cattle semen for sale. I do this because the phrase "cattle semen" is funny, and because the names and descriptions of the cows are often even better. Take, for example, this fella, who was featured on The Pulse, a cattle breeding and care blog:
Chubby, chubby, chubby. (via The Pulse)
There are even celebrity cow parents, of sorts — cattle that have excellent muscle build or bone structure or whatever else people desire in cows, and the sperm and embryos from those cattle fetches a higher price.
Not sure you're ready to buy cow sperm yet? Go check out all of the options you can get at Cattle Visions, "America's premier multi-breed semen distributor." (That is the real tagline for a real business.) Just make sure you buy it, and don't be a jerk and steal it out of someone's barn.