A male army specialist who was denied leave to go to a baby shower came back with a more... rugged excuse, according to a Reddit user. Forget gender reveal cakes and guessing the baby's weight—this soldier is off to become Ron Swanson.
His revised remarks read:
Going home to the Appalachian mountains to drink whiskey, wrestle bears, and shoot lots of guns. I also plan to grow out a beard, chop down a hundred trees with my axe and eat 10lbs of thick cut bacon with my wife, whom I plan to have lots of unprotected sex with, because I am a man and that's just what we do. Football.
No word on whether or not his revised approach worked. Of course, the commanding officer could have just been confused because many baby showers are women-only (though this traditional approach may be going out of style). And, as always, a disclaimer that this is from Reddit and could therefore be totally fake.