Just as soon as we are whisked away from 2016, we will be thrust into the terrifying future that is 2017. Besides Donald Trump taking office in January, there are plenty of other things to be worried about. But, in case you weren't terrified (please, teach me your ways), we've got a irrefutable bad omen for you: dead birds inexplicably falling from the sky in New Jersey. I'm sorry, do we live in a Hitchcock movie?
"All of a sudden it was raining dead birds," Philly.com reported on the incident. The reporter goes on to describe the carnage: "by the time the brief "shower" was over, as many as 200 red-winged blackbirds littered the ground in a small housing development off Frank Davis Road surrounded by vast farm fields."
What's worse is that this was the second time this happened in the same rural area in a span of several weeks. Sorry to everyone who lives near the Frank Davis Road, but y'all are hexed for sure. Beyond this clearly being a warning sign of a doomsday yet to come, it also presents an immediate danger of being bludgeoned in the head by a dead bird, which sounds painful and disgusting.
The incidents, which initially occurred in November, led to an investigation by the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection to attempt to determine what made the birds fall to the ground, but the results were inconclusive. "We did ascertain that the birds suffered trauma and internal bleeding from hitting the ground. But what made them fall from the sky in the first place . . . we can't say for certain," said DEP spokesman Larry Hajna.
They've ruled out causes including toxic pesticides, as well as the compounds found in wheat seeds in the nearby fields. So for now, maybe all that's left to do is embrace that we live in a sci-fi apocalypse. What was it like to wake up and experience the end-of-the-world seeming situation? Resident Debbie Hitchner describes finding the dead birds in her backyard: "Out in the country like this, you find dead stuff lying around all the time . . . but this was kind of weird. My dog just kept finding them, one after the other."
Looks like things are only going to get weirder.