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Today in bad decisions that did not end well: a man named Tony Welch decided to get something "a little different" as a gift for his wife, Dana. I would've suggested an exotic pet, like a parakeet or a pigmy goat.

But no, he went with a "tiny" "pocket-sized" taser purchased at a gun show. How romantic!

But before giving it to his wife, he decided to "test out" the "toy" on a "flesh & blood moving target." His first thought was his cat. And thank god he went with himself instead, or this story would be even more horrifying than it already is.

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In gory and hilarious detail, Welch shared the entire story on Facebook and Imgur, as a warning to "all males" (maybe he knows that no woman would ever do this, and he's probably right):

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TESTICLES NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!?

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The story is not even over yet.

Luckily the story has a happy ending... for the wife.

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Point taken, Tony. I will never, ever test out even the tiniest of tasers on myself or anyone else. In fact I hope to never even be in close proximity to a taser in my entire life after reading this story.

So, thank you for the warning. I'm sorry you got tased, bro. And I hope you find your testicles. Did you check under the couch cushions?

Sources: Imgur