If you've ever thought about multi-tasking by jerking off while eating a Filet-o-Fish, you better get on it, because McDonald's has promised to block porn from people using their WiFi.
"McDonald's is committed to providing a safe environment for our customers," said a McDonald's representative this week. "We had not heard from our customers that this was an issue, but we saw an opportunity that is consistent with our goal of providing an enjoyable experience for families."
So basically, NO ONE complained about someone rubbing themselves while pounding a 10-piece chicken McNuggets (despite it being a a reasonable way to recycle the grease), but they decided to impose a WiFi filter anyway.
And Starbucks has said they are going to start filtering as well, as soon as they can figure out how to keep people from accessing porn without accidentally filtering out more suitable content (like celebrity beefs).
"This is a huge victory," said Donna Rice Hughes, president of anti-porn group Enough is Enough. "We're proud of Starbucks and McDonalds for stepping up to the plate. Internet pornography is a public health crisis. Parents need to know which family restaurants are safe from online threats."
Or, you could just keep an eye on your kids while they consume toxic amounts of salt and grease at McDonald's. You want these restaurants to babysit kids AND adults? After all, so far there have been NO COMPLAINTS of anyone watching porn at McDonald's, but there have probably been countless complaints from adults trying to eat a late-afternoon McGriddle while getting annoyed by children on the loose.