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Today in "weird rich people stuff," we bring you a rock in a leather pouch that you can purchase at Nordstrom for $85 under the name "Medium Leather Wrapped Stone." Really.

Please note, that's $85 BEFORE the shipping fee.
Please note, that's $85 BEFORE the shipping fee.

Surely, you're thinking, this rock must do something. A high-end brand like Nordstrom wouldn't endorse reinventing the pet rock for the upper crust, but that's exactly what they did. They took some rocks they found on Los Angeles mountains and put some expensive leather on them.

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Here's their glorious description of this years must-have gift:

A paperweight? A conversation piece? A work of art? It's up to you, but this smooth Los Angeles-area stone—wrapped in rich, vegetable-tanned American leather secured by sturdy contrast whipstitching— is sure to draw attention wherever it rests.

What is happening? Is an emperor walking around nude right now?

The stone has been available at Nordstrom since November 18th, and has grabbed the attention of those who lack the sophistication to see why it is so great.

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https://twitter.com/MsParkaaa/status/806171848010506240

Despite strong guesses that the Nordstrom staff is high af, a few are clued into what makes this product shine: its reviews.

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Here are a few:

"For months I have been searching for the perfect addition to my home. Having only average knick knacks that positively fail as conversation starters, my husband and I have often sat in silence with a sheer lack of things to say. In desperation, I looked to Nordstrom for the answer. The leather wrapped stone was it. "

"All my fears were dispelled as soon as I held my very own beautiful stone. It was perfect."
"All my fears were dispelled as soon as I held my very own beautiful stone. It was perfect."

"I had purchased a Small Leather Wrapped Stone last Christmas for my brother-in-law and he loved it. He's not a bad guy, but I don't really like him much, so the wife and I try to not invite them over too often."

"1 star deducted for not calling it a rock."
"1 star deducted for not calling it a rock."

"When I read the design embodied both 'simplicity and functionality,' I thought there was no way this could be achieved. Bt when I finally got my hand crafted, leather wrapped rock, I was astonished. It really was completely simple yet functioned perfectly. In fact, I've never owned a rock that could function better [than] this product. Does everything a rock is supposed to do even with this leather covering. I mean everything! Definitely worth the cost."

Simply amazed.
Simply amazed.

"I told my husband I was going to be a rock in a pouch today as a conversation piece and asked why? I told him because we don't have one."

Fair.
Fair.
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"Lost my j/o crystal recently and had been down in the dumps (so was my little guy) since I couldn't get a good sesh in. Needed a new replacement and found this rock. It's not a crustal but I could tell it was full of positive power and energy."sesh in. Needed a new replacement and found this rock. It's not a crustal but I could tell it was full of positive power and energy."

"All the guys at The Hut are jealous of me."
"All the guys at The Hut are jealous of me."

In fact, there is only one negative review.

"I ordered the leather wrapped stone as a gift for my beloved girlfriend but when it arrived in the mail I quickly noticed it was as described. It clearly states that the stone was hand-made but upon inspection one could easily discern many markings from factory machinery. I had it returned so they could ship me an authentic hand-made stone. The leather alright so I kept it and found an organic GMO free substitute in my garden to replace it while I wait for the new one to be shipped in the mail."

Note: he still recommends this product.
Note: he still recommends this product.

Convinced yet? With all this press these puppies are bound to sell out, so hurry up and get yours before they run out of rocks.