An epic standoff took place Saturday in Redford Township, Michican, and neither party had the fortitude to end it. On one side stood armed police and the Livonia special response team, ready to confront a man they believed had barricaded himself inside his home.
On the other side stood a house, completely empty and lacking any sentient capacity. But the cops didn't know that.
Despite the latter's clear advantage of being inanimate, police engaged in this ridiculous battle of wills for a full eleven hours. Click On Detroit reports that the authorities blocked off several nearby streets to prevent locals from becoming sucked into the fray. If anyone had the credentials to go up against a completely uninhabited house, it would be the professionals.
The man police were looking for had gotten into a domestic dispute with his wife of only six weeks, who had apparently just asked for a divorce. Police learned the argument got out of control and the couple went through a plate glass door. Police did not learn, however, that the husband had already left the house before they arrived. So outside they stood, sending in canister after canister of tear gas.
The house, of course, remained unresponsive, because it has no tear ducts or brain. This went on for eleven hours before police entered the home to find that no one was there.
Call it a wrap, boys. This house isn't gonna fold.