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Love her or hate her, you've got to admit that there's never a dull moment with top Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway. Whether she's talking about microwaves spying on you or fabricating events of mass violence, you can always count on her to be as unhinged and absurd as the man who hired her to get him elected.

And it turns out that even a humanizing profile of Conway in New York this month doesn't skimp on the details of her enduring weirdness. In particular, people were fixated on an account of how she conducted herself at a fancy Washington, D.C. restaurant in the presence of the reporter writing about her.

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Conway was definitely enjoying herself at Lupo Verde, an Italian restaurant on 14th and T, where she and Cypher found their way to a table I was sharing with a friend and sat down across from us. I’d invited Conway on a whim and didn’t expect her to show, so by the time she arrived with her entourage, the entrée we had ordered to share, a steak, was sitting on the table. Conway gestured to the plate and asked if she could have some. “Sure,” we said, “of course.” She then reached her hand across the table and, rather than the steak, picked up the roughly seven-inch-long decorative scallion resting on top. Then she tilted her head back and put it in her mouth, like a sword swallower on Coney Island or a snake eating a mouse. About ten minutes later she remarked that she thought it was a piece of asparagus.

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What in the world... how do you... why would she... WHAT?

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Maybe this is just because she hadn't had a full night's sleep in the past nine months. Maybe she'd never seen a vegetable before. Or maybe she's from a different planet. In any case, she's basically in charge of the country. Wheeee!