A man in greater Glasgow, Scotland ran afoul of the law by invading a family's home. Well, only part of him invaded it.
The postman always rings twice. This guy was no postman. (stock photo)
We've all done things we regret while drunk, and many of those things involved penises. This guy, on the other hand, took it to a whole other level.
45-year-old Mariusz Wojcik was drinking heavily in Paisley, Scotland when he stumbled up to the house of a family he didn't know. He started kicking the door and shouting at the inhabitants, and nobody knows why. Even he doesn't, because he had blacked out.
Inside the house, a mother cowered in fear with her young daughter and niece. She called the police and her boyfriend for help. Her boyfriend got there first. He was able to get past Wojcik and into the house using his super-fast sober reflexes. Once inside, he barricaded the door, but Wojcik had one last trick up his sleeve. Or, more accurately, in his pants.
At that moment, the people in the house saw the mail slot open, and Wojcik's penis come through. That's right, he pulled the "special delivery."
He must not have read the sign. (stock photo)
At court, Wojcik admitted to behaving in an abusive manner, and pleaded guilty to resisting arrest and obstructing police. Through his lawyer, he said that he didn't remember the incident, but felt "deeply ashamed of his conduct." Sheriff Seith Ireland told him he narrowly avoided going to prison, adding, "Those inside this flat must have been terrified. This was quite atrocious conduct."
Wojcik was sentenced to 200 hours of community service, and will be supervised by social workers for a year. I'm not sure how much of a punishment that is. It seems like he likes interacting with the community, and he definitely enjoys being supervised. That's his thing.