Hands: they've made humanity what it is as a species, because not only do they let us use tools to hunt and build, they gave us far more important abilities to both lock the door and knock on it. Both of those skills are vital to avoid seeing things best left unseen. If you don't learn to knock, you'll end up observing some inexplicably weird and disturbing things behind closed doors, and then you're no better than the animals—kind of like these people.
1. StaypuftSlimer's story is probably the most NSFW one on this list.
I walked in on a friend and his mom doing... something? First let me explain that we were pretty good friends, and we had an open door policy (meaning come in if the door is unlocked, I didn't have to knock).
Anyway, they were both sitting on the couch, almost on top of each other, he had no shirt on and a blanket around his waist, so I couldn't tell if he was naked or not, but he got up with the blanket still around his waist and ran to his room, while his mom just stared at me.
I just turned around and left, to this day I have no idea what was going on (well a pretty good idea, but I hope I'm wrong.) The guy stopped talking to me pretty soon after that, and now I knock before entering someones house.
2. Bjb13's colleague will probably never stay at this hotel again.
Co-worker and I were on a business trip. He walked into his room and there was a business meeting going. His dirty clothes were strewn around the room as he had left them. The room was a suite with a conference table in it. The hotel had let someone use it without realizing it was his room. Needless to say they were very apologetic to him. Gave him a large fruit basket and comped his room for the week.
Fortunately, the meeting didn't turn out like this:
3. This could be a great work perk for ReverendDS. If—he's into that sort of thing.
The CEO of the company hosting a BDSM Dungeon Party in one of our data centers.
4. Cargofast's puppy doesn't belong there.
My 3 month old blue heeler puppy on top of my fridge, howling because he couldn’t get down.
Im still trying to figure out how he got up there, I can sort of see a path he took but I did not think he could leap across a few of those gaps.
He does like to chase the cat though and she gets up there easily.
determination can accomplish anything, man...
Walked into the kitchen with the lights off to find my dad in his underwear slathering jelly on the cat while saying quietly "grape jelly, bitch."
And I wish I had made that up.
6. Din7's aunt definitely needs to purchase some nail clippers.
I walked in on my aunt biting her cousin's toenails when I was 9.
7. Whenever CaptainWonderbread sees LEGO toys, he will be reminded of this story.
I was probably 17/18 years old and walked in on my friend playing with legos. I was about to let him know I was there, but decided to stop and listen. It wasn't weird until I realized he was acting out what sounded like a very complicated semi-romantic gay relationship between two city workers with the little yellow helmets. They had OUR names. (Am not gay and as far as I know neither is he, but we don't talk anymore.)
8. Furrrsurre's roommate is probably a Lannister.
In college I walked in on my roommate masturbating to what were clearly photo-shopped nudes of his sister.
9. OfficialRavenspire knows where batteries belong.
When I was staying in a hotel in Edmonton maybe 8 years ago, there was this elderly man sitting naked by the hot tub in the pool room eating what looked like spaghetti with his hands from a tupperware container, and dropping different batteries into the hot tub from a reusable grocery store bag was seemingly filled with them. After watching with morbid curiosity for a few minutes, the guy looked back at me and smiled, so I got the fuck out of there and told someone at the front desk.
10. This dude probably does the same "kawaii" thing.
My 30 year old male Asian boss staring at his reflection in the freezer doors and trying to do "kawaii" anime girl poses. Wtf dude.
11. Sugarpuddin broke her ties with Mr. Sugarpuddin after this happened.
At six months pregnant with my son I walked in on his dad and his dads roommate shaving a random girls vagina. It was 6:30am on a weekday. They swear cocaine wasn't involved.
12. Threlnari97's roommates have guilty feet.
Probably nothing drastic, but when I was at a summer program at my soon to be college, I walked into my dorm suite to see all my roommates dancing to Careless whisper.
EDIT: Original version i believe.
13. Famikon's simple possessions probably once belonged to Lucifer himself.
Lost my phone and keys at a house party around 4am, looked all over for them with no luck. Before leaving the house I decided to check the one room that had the door closed. I opened the door and there were 6 people sitting in a circle around a shoebox, they were doing a chant and wiggling their fingers at the box.
Inside the box: My phone and keys. They were blessing them.
14. The girl in Veos' story was probably one of those weird cult members in #13's house party.
I walked into my friends kitchen to see a girl sitting on the counter in the dark bending all the silverware.
15. TheSilverNoble is now a member of Fight Club.
At wrestling camp one night I went to the bottom floor of the dorms we were staying in because it had been kinda nice and quiet down there in the day and I wanted some of that.
Literally walked in on a fight club.
16. Primordial_soup's coaches may actually need to join Fight Club.
I played football at my high school for the last several years, and one day after practice I had to ask one of the coaches about equipment or something, so I enter the coaches' office (the door is open), and see them all furiously hitting a desk chair with baseball bats. I looked on in confusion for a few seconds and then left. I don't think they saw me.
17. Despite all the Lannistery ways this could have gone, this guy became the world's best brother for bailing his sister out of a jam.
I didn't exactly walk in, I was called in.
I was watching TV downstairs when I heard my 17 year old sister franticly calling for help from upstairs. When I got to her room the first thing I noticed was that she was naked, with one hand crammed up into her vag. The second thing I noticed were the tears running down her face. She had gotten her hand stuck somehow. The angle her wrist was at caused pain every time she tried to get her hand out. I actually had to press down on her shoulders so that she could get her wrist at a better angle and work her hand out.
Never had sex with her.
18. Big_red__man's story will remind you that all animals are weird and will help you forget about what happened in #17.
This one might be a little different because it has nothing to do with sex or people. I once walked in on my parrot and my dog in a very tense situation. My parrot was hanging off the outside of his cage as low as he could go with his wings spread and his beak open. He was performing what I would call an aggressive display. My dog was similarly posed with the hair on his back raised and he was snarling. As soon as I walked into the room my parrot saw me and he immediately snapped out of it. My dog turned around and saw me and also changed. The dog trotted over to me with his tail wagging and my parrot climbed back up to the top of his cage and said "hello" and whistled. Nope, they weren't doing anything at all. Everything is cool.
What I think was going on was this: My dog would "clean up" the floor around my parrots cage and sometimes my parrot would even call him and drop food when he came over. Other times my parrot would be a dick and climb down the outside of his cage and try to bite my dog. I know he got him at least a few times. I bet my dog got sick of that shit and it was time to take a stand. Only, I interrupted it.
TL;DR walked in as my parrot and dog were about to throw down.
19. This guy probably thought it was an aircraft carrier, but it might've been something else?
I walked into an empty classroom once to get some peace and quiet for studying, but then I saw there was a kid all alone in there standing at the white board drawing something. He got red-faced and ran out of the room as fast as he could, pushing past me and saying "sorry I'm so sorry oh my god". I looked at the white board and it was a very good drawing of an aircraft carrier. No idea why he drew it or why he was ashamed of drawing it.
Like some sort of freaky optical illusion, maybe?
Lesson: knock on the door or lock the door before you knock boots with someone else.