Everyone has been on a first date that was going so badly they've fantasized about climbing out of a bathroom window or faking a family emergency to escape it. But for one woman, her date was going so poorly that she felt the need to get the police involved. New York-based author Alexander Chee tweeted this snippet he came across in the Amherst police blotter, and he probably could not write a story this bizarre if he tried (actually, he wrote The Queen of the Night, so he definitely could).
According to the blotter, a man and woman who met over WeChat (a messaging app) decided to meet up in real life for a hiking date in Amherst, Massachusetts. Things must not have been going too well, because the woman decided she wanted out. Immediately. So immediately that instead of pretending that she forgot about a doctor's appointment or that she left her stove on (or, you know, just being honest about her feelings) she feigned an illness and called the cops. After law enforcement arrived to help the woman, they eventually got her to admit that she was not ill at all, but just couldn't muster up the courage to tell her date that she wanted to end the hike early. Wow, was the date really going that bad?
Of course, when you look at the story closely, there might have been something more serious and less hilarious going on. The story does have all the elements of the beginning of a modern day slasher film, after all: A woman meets up with a stranger she met online, and the two of them go on a hike together in the woods where no one can hear you scream!? In that case, calling the cops was definitely a smart move. Or who knows, maybe she just wasn't into the dude. But when the cops show up to break up your date, that is definitely one way to find out that she's just not that into you.