This man is a hero for bravely exposing what a horrible monster this man is. 

Inspired by Edward Snowden, I've decided to blow the whistle on the only person or organization I have the power to destroy - myself. I've remained quiet for my entire life about all the ways I'm systematically cheating the system to protect my not-quite-middle-class lifestyle. Take this as an opportunity to be a hero yourself! Only you know all the horrible things you've done, and only you can expose yourself. After all, it's not like you stand a chance against the government. Here are just some of the shocking secrets I would have flat-out denied if you'd asked me yesterday: