God, it takes so long to eat a salad.

God, it takes so long to eat a salad.

"Today I'm gonna be healthy and order a salad...Wow, salad's expensive, even though it's mostly leaves."

God, it takes so long to eat a salad.

That's a huge salad. (via Women Laughing Alone With Salad)

Minute 1-5:

This is a lot of salad. Did I get enough dressing? I can't eat this unless it is soaked in dressing.

It's hard to stir all my dressing into this big, healthy salad. I mean, there's salad everywhere, like, all over my desk.

They don't give you much bread.

God, it takes so long to eat a salad.

So many things in this salad I need to pick out. (via Thinkstock)

Minute 6-10:

This would be really hard to eat "on-the-go."

Damn, I've barely made a dent in this thing! Maybe I should save some for later? I've already mixed all this dressing in, though...

Okay. The only way out is through.

God, it takes so long to eat a salad.

Double-fisting. (via Thinkstock)

Minute 11-15:

If there's a fire drill, should I take the salad? Not an actual fire, just a drill...


What am I doing with my life? Like, really. I'm in a silent office, headphones on, starring at a screen. Why didn't I try to eat this salad outside somewhere? Why don't people just talk to each other anymore? It used to be rude to look at your phone when you were out to dinner with someone. I'm going to get in touch with an old friend and invite them out to dinner and just turn my phone OFF. And we can split a salad, and still have room for apps and an entree. Shared plates are important. If I just had someone to share this salad with, I could move on with my day. I'D BE FREE TO EAT THE BROWNIE I BOUGHT AS A SPECIAL TREAT FOR LATER BECAUSE I WAS "GOOD" AND GOT A SALAD FOR LUNCH.


I shouldn't have broken up with Brian.

Minute 16-20:

This is my life now. I'm that girl who is always chewing something. My boss probably doesn't respect me.

NO. I am brave and I am a queen and I have a very strong jaw.

Minute 21-25:

Is it anti-feminist to eat a salad?

Minute 25-Infinity Symbol:


I am the salad. The boundaries we use to separate ourselves from others are merely illusions, constructs as inconsequential as shadows. There is no "me." All living energy is mixed as one in the great salad bowl of our cosmic universe. We are all drenched in the dressing of love.

30 minutes later:

I'm hungry.

God, it takes so long to eat a salad.

Because salads aren't filling!!! (via Thinkstock)