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I've got bad news for some of you ladies—according to fashion bible Vogue, cleavage is no longer in style, so you're going to need to be as flat-chested as possible. For a lot of women, this is absolutely impossible, since wearing any bra with any article of clothing at all save perhaps a turtleneck still results in cleavage. For you women, I say: get rid of them. Unburden yourself! But once you've unsnapped them from your chest, what are you going to do with them? Your closet's most likely pretty full, and there's probably not a lot of available space in your dresser drawers, either. So instead, here a few ideas for what you can do with your disembodied boobs until this no-cleavage fad passes and it's safe to put them on again.

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1. Save money on decorative gourds by using your breasts as table centerpieces.

Thanksgiving is coming up and if you, like me, are tired of the same old cornucopia full of bountiful harvest nonsense, toss your boobs onto the table, surround them with a few candles or whatever bullshit—voilà! A classy set up that'll definitely wow your family and friends.

2. Two words: kitten pillows!

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3. Loan them to someone who really wants them.

That unsightly cleavage that your female shape naturally produces in clothing might not be desirable in the world of fashion right now, but some ladies with small boobs might appreciate the chance to walk a mile in another woman's rack.

4. Place them under birds' nests so if the babies fall out, they just bounce.

5. Bind those bad boys.

Want to stop having cleavage, but afraid if you take breasts off you might lose them? Easy—head on over to a hardware store and grab yourself some duct tape. That oughta take care of those bad boys until a fashion magazine deems them acceptable again. Sounds comfortable, right?

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6. Shipping something breakable? Breasts make for great packing material.

7. You know what they're the perfect size for? Pin cushions.

Works well for push pins, too!
Works well for push pins, too!

8. Wear them anyway.

Go ahead, you've earned it! Want to keep right on being a human female with un-tiny breasts? Using them for something important like feeding a growing human? Dare to be different, and let your breast flag fly.