Hannah Scorer is the hero we all need right now, and by WE, I mean all women (or men, it's 2017!) who have ever navigated the rocky and potentially painful terrain of bikini waxing.

Posted by Hannah Scorer on Saturday, March 18, 2017

Hannah Scorer recently purchased waxing strips from popular UK pharmacy chain, Boots. Anyone who's tried at-home waxing knows it can go very, very badly.

Scorer experienced one of these bikini wax horror stories, which she was MORE than happy to relay to the general public on Boots' Facebook page.

"Boots, we need to have a word," she begins. If I were Boots, I'd be quaking. She continues: "These are, categorically, the worst wax strips in the world. I haven't tried all the other wax strips, but I'm confident I don't need to. That's how bad these are."

She then lists things that she asserts "could have waxed me more successfully," including "candle wax" and "the 2005 film House of Wax, starring Paris Hilton."

The rest of her review is just as hilarious and brutally honest, so of COURSE it went viral. You can read it here:

Boots, we need to have a word. These are, categorically, the worst wax strips in the world. I haven't tried all the...
Posted by Hannah Scorer on Friday, August 25, 2017

Here's her full waxing horror story:

Last night, I decided to use your wax strips to tidy up my bikini line. I know, right? You can almost feel the burn. But it's worth it for that silky smooth skin.

So, I followed your instructions on how to use the strips. It's not rocket science, but it's best to be sure, isn't it? You wouldn't want waxing to go wrong, would you?

So, as instructed on the back of the pack I warmed a strip, stuck it down, endured the brief but childbirth-level pain intensity of ripping it off, and looked down, ready to admire a peachy beach-ready inner thigh.

Do you know what I saw instead, Boots? All the hair I'd just tried to take off not even slightly detached from its follicles. Except now, matted firmly into the hair was a thick layer of wax. Have you touched that wax when it becomes separated from its strip? It is so sticky it could have held together the original Sugababes line-up. My bikini line was like the dancefloor of a really questionable club at 3am.

I was slightly panicked until I remember the wax residue removing moisturising wipes included in the box of wax! It will all be ok, I thought, for the wipes will resolve this.

I took one of the wipes and started trying to rub off the wax/glue/melted Push Pop hybrid. However, instead of rescuing my skin, the wipe becomes trapped and bits of it tear off and firmly adhere to my waxy, furry skin, like a series of tiny surrender flags.

This would be bad enough in any situation, but do you know why I was waxing my bikini line, Boots? I had a date. I've been out of the dating game for a while and I appreciate things change, but this wasn't learning Tinder, this was my fanny looking like something from the Blair Witch. The Blair Witch, Boots.

So, I got in the shower, and exfoliated off as much of the gunk and tissue paper mixture as I could, before dealing with the area with a good old-fashioned razor. Or I tried. But the wax had to continue its campaign to ruin my life, and it immediately blunted the razor.

Eventually, with repeated exfoliation the use of a large amount of very expensive oil I usually save for special occasions and a replacement razor blade, I manage to finish the job the wax strips didn't really start. My fanny looks like a bright pink newborn panda, but at least the hair is gone. So is my will to live and half the products in my bathroom, but at this point I'll salvage a win wherever I can.

So that, Boots, is why these are the worst wax strips in the works. Please remove them from sale immediately and gift them to the construction industry as an alternative to cement. Or pass them on to local councils looking for some anti-climb paint. Anything that doesn't involve hair removal really.

Thanks in advance

There are rare times in life that call for this gif, and only this gif, and now is one of those times:

Scorer's review has been shared nearly 12,000 times since she posted it on August 25th. And received tens of thousands of comments, mostly just from people who are LOL'ing at her story, with some relaying their own waxing horror stories.

For Scorer, viral fame has been a learning experience. She followed up with these thoughts:

Well. This all went a bit silly. I've learned some valuable lessons from this experience.

1) I should never wax myself ever. I'm not a waxer. Would I nip into a hospital and have a go at setting my own broken arm? No. Well waxing is the bone-fixing of the depilatory world

2) As someone who works in communications I should know this, but for the love of whatever deity you hold dear, consider *all* the consequences before you post something on social media. Otherwise, you might find yourself walking into a meeting and thinking to yourself 'gosh. I wonder who around this table has read about my fanny'. I'm basically living a Groundhog Day loop right now of Cady Heron walking into that gym

3) Related to point two, if you do write something on social media that people share a lot, eventually media might pick up on it and you might find your flippant comments about waxing featured in two right-wing hate-filled tabloids for which you feel such a strong sense of contempt that you could honestly black out and come around fervently muttering 'help me Owen Jones, help me' every time you think about them

4) Boots are good people and I will continue to deposit approx one third of my income into their tills

This has been.... a journey.

Woman suffers bikini wax nightmare and lives to tell about it in hilarious TMI product review.