One of the biggest obstacles to achieving equality of the sexes is that being a woman is so damn emotionally and physically inconvenient. And we all know who's to blame for that: God. Sure, God created humans before the concept of being "politically correct" existed, so it's not entirely His fault. But if these 9 anatomical facts have taught me anything, it's that God is the biggest sexist of all:

1. Periods

It's women alone who have to deal with this monthly interruption—the cramping, the bleeding, the wondering if we remembered to take that tampon out or not. Maybe we need a heavenly Title IX to even things out a bit: "No person shall, on the basis of sex, be subjected to discrimination by our Heavenly Father."


2. Hormone fluctuation

Yes, I'm listing hormones separately from periods. While my girl friends and I are wondering if we're tired, grumpy or hungry because of our cycles, men are just, like, "Let's eat sandwiches and gain 10 pounds and no one will notice." How is that fair, Lord?

3. Pregnancy

Some women love being pregnant and think it's a gift from God. But let's be honest: A real gift from God would be a baby plopped into your husband's uterus.

4. Childbirth

I mean, God basically admits this is sexist in Genesis 3:16: "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you." Um, cool. Thanks for nothing.


5. Breastfeeding

Seriously, you couldn't make one single, biological aspect of growing and caring for a baby 50/50 the responsibility of each parent? And don't say, "But what about formula feeding?" You're too omnipotent to pretend you don't know who has to be weighed down by guilt about that decision.

6. Way, way more UTIs

Sure, men get UTIs sometimes, but not anywhere near the frequency that women get them. Is it really fair that women have to stuff themselves with cranberry juice while men are climbing the corporate ladder?

7. Physical strength, height, speed

Of course, women can be physically strong (see: "Childbirth," the Williams sisters), but there's no denying that men are, as a group, stronger, taller, and faster (and dumber, amirite ladies? [high fives no one]). Even their bones are denser! I guess God didn't get the memo that this kind of thinking is really outdated.


8. Biological clocks

I know, I know. Earlier, I was complaining about periods and childbirth and now I'm, like, Hey where did that go?, but is it in any way fair that dudes don't have to postpone their careers so they can get those babies out? Or that they reach a point where the only way they can procreate is by ditching you for a younger woman? Way to promote backward and sexist thinking, God.

9. Crying during Tylenol commercials

We did not ask for this abundance of estrogen, Lord, so have mercy on us and make all ads skippable after four seconds.