Hi Sandra,

I'm writing to let you know that I've taken a job elsewhere. This letter is really hard for me to write because I'm doing it on my phone after three margaritas at lunch. Working here has been somewhat valuable to me ($42,000/year to be exact) and I've learned so much about how to falsify time sheets. I'd be happy to show my replacement how our department works by not responding to any of their emails and yet ccing them on an dozens of discussions unrelated to their position.