Learn about today's UK election in 30 seconds so you can sound smart tonight at the bar.

Learn about today's UK election in 30 seconds so you can sound smart tonight at the bar.
Advertising

No words in the video, so read the bullet-point facty-facts below! Hurry!

The United Kingdom had a General Election today!

  1. Nobody was expected to win!
  2. But the Tories (Conservatives) did!
  3. David Cameron will be Prime Minister again!
    Learn about today's UK election in 30 seconds so you can sound smart tonight at the bar.
  4. Citizens don't vote for Prime Minister! They vote for members of Parliament, and whichever party or coalition gets a majority picks the Prime Minister!
  5. Everyone was afraid there would be a weak coalition government like last time, when the Tories partnered with the Liberal Democrats*!
  6. That partnership went so well for the Liberal Democrats, they went from 57 seats to just 8, and their leader Nick Clegg had to resign!
    Learn about today's UK election in 30 seconds so you can sound smart tonight at the bar.
  7. Yet somehow the Tories won an outright majority of seats (despite getting only 36% of the popular vote, because of how the UK constituency system works)!
  8. This election also saw a dramatic rise in seats and votes for the separatist Scottish Nationalist Party (SNP) and the far-right United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), which is probably not a great sign for the long-term future of a unified, outward-looking Britain!
  9. Everyone still hates Labour for when Tony Blair followed Bush into Iraq and when Gordon Brown followed Bush into the financial collapse!
  10. This is why the Tories did so well even though they're pretty disliked as well (hence the rise of left- and right-wing parties), but for old-fashioned reasons like privatization, crushing unions, and favoring the rich!

Congrats! You're a worldly and well-educated citizen of the world, now! Romantic partners will now throw themselves upon your genitals in awe of your savvy political knowledge!

*Liberal Democrats, you ask? I thought they just had Tories and Labor! Well, imagine if instead of just Republicans and Democrats, there was a party that tried to be a middle ground between the two and succeeded (in that the middle ground between these two parties is a tiny, pointless area filled with overlap on both sides because Labour and Conservatives are less different than they were in the 80s anyway). Then, imagine they became useful again for a brief, shining moment in 2010 when the Tories (kinda like Republicans) needed them to form a government (because no one had a majority), so they worked with their rivals in the interest of saving the economy, ended up alienating their base (even though Britain weathered the recession better than Europe), handed the next election to the their "partners" and basically disappeared from the map. That's them.

Advertising