It's weird to think of your parents as anything but the people who raise you. Sometimes thinking about what they did before you were born or when you're not with them is downright weird. Don't believe me? Your parents have sex. There, you cringed, didn't you?
A recent Reddit thread entitled, "Parents of Reddit, what's something you hope your kids never find out about you?" asked parents to reveal the secrets they keep that they would never want their kids to find out.
1. bigdicken reveals something their kid would never want to know either.
That in college I taped a dildo to my head and "unicorn fucked" a stripper on my birthday right alongside my best friend doing the same thing to another stripper
2. NoahzArc hopes their kid never finds out about how they were conceived.
Your life began during a relatively brief, unspectacular, drunken sex act on the same living room couch you now play your Xbox on because there was a power outage and we got bored. Now that I think of it, we should really save for a new couch.
3. spikerman also made a baby out of boredom.
My daughter was conceived over 4 years ago because reddit was down and we were bored haha
4. Do you think theneedfull's kids will ever figure this one out?
I fucked their mom.
5. Travthecoach is adopting the "do as I say, not as I do" method.
I hope my daughters, who I'm trying to raise to respect themselves and their bodies, never know how little I respected women and their bodies up until my late 20s.
6. HuckleberryFynn just wants their kids to be kids.
How much of a struggle it is keeping them happy, fed, clothed and a roof over their heads. I don't work two jobs for funsies. It's a tough world to get by in, but I don't want them to feel the pressure I do. Just enjoy being a kid. You'll join the battle soon enough.
7. cloudywater1 is trying to hide that he's a stoner. Unsuccessfully.
When they come downstairs for a drink of water and daddy smells a little funny, it's because he is blazed as hell.
8. HooperDrivesChief8 only makes babies when he is sad.
One was conceived on the 1st anniversary of 9/11. I remember because the TV was on and its all they were talking about. One was conceived the first night there was no new episodes after the season of Rescue Me ended. Another when the Red Sox lost to the Yankeed and I was sad and my wife wanted to cheer me up. We both work crazy hours so sex has always been infrequent, thats how I know.
9. pawnmarcher wants to hide his troubled past.
All the drugs
when their mother and I met, we were heavy into cocaine
10. WeekendToyJudge will definitely scar her children if they find this out.
For a few years now I've been seeing a professional dominatrx that does whatever she wants to me, up to and including using my body for her other customers pleasure.
Not sure you want to know that about your mother.
11. teduni married a stripper in Vegas, but it actually worked out really well.
16 years ago I married a stripper in Vegas. Still married and the mother of all my kids. There are worst things that they will never know, but this is the one thing that directly impacted their lives.
12. Tasteslikebluemilk will have to make something up when his kids ask how he proposed to their mom.
I proposed to their mother while she was drunk and topless
13. glassfigurine wants her daughter to have the positive body image she never had.
I hope my daughter never knows how much I let my appearance control my life. Eating disorders are a very difficult thing to overcome and even though I'm at a healthy weight now, my self esteem is the lowest of lows. I still see food as the enemy. I try my best not to let her hear me say things about my weight or food because I don't ever want her to pick up on my stupidity. I want her to love herself and her body, just the way she is. She is beautiful, intelligent, and has so many things ahead of her and I would be devastated if she ever felt the way I feel. I want her to have a positive body image and feel great in her own skin. I want her to be able to look in the mirror and only see the good things. And I know that starts with me. I've got to change to make this happen.
14. PMme_your_hips knows that the only thing worse than thinking about your parents having sex is thinking about your parents having sex with others.
We are swingers. We just the other day met another couple that we are going to start dating... and going to fuck.
15. chocotaco_man has kids. Somewhere. But he doesn't want them to know that.
That im their father. Ive donated sperms once about 10 years ago. I dont want to be a dad. I was just a broke college kid.
Let's just hope that none of these parents' kids look at Reddit.