Dad's neurotic instructions to his son's first babysitter are classic new parent material.

Dad's neurotic instructions to his son's first babysitter are classic new parent material.
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Once upon a time, Redditor Fordiman was like most new parents: nervous, terrified, likely to break into anxiety sweats over any little thing. When it first came time to leave his young son with a babysitter, Fordiman was very concerned, as his wife reminded him when she sent him an old e-mail  full of instructions he'd written for the babysitter. If you want a detailed analysis on how to deal with a child, you're in luck, because Fordiman transcribed the minutiae of his child's existence.

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The parents, on the other hand, might be more difficult to handle.

Here it goes: 

In case of crying:

A useful section on skills:

And of course a quick diaper tutorial:

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(Which was too long to fit in one image)

Before the final section on, what else, "Interaction":

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The appropriate response upon seeing in words all that babysitting this kid entails.

By now, this couple's notes to babysitters are probably much more concise and simply transmitted. Something along the lines of: "Don't kill the kid, please."

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