Once upon a time, Redditor Fordiman was like most new parents: nervous, terrified, likely to break into anxiety sweats over any little thing. When it first came time to leave his young son with a babysitter, Fordiman was very concerned, as his wife reminded him when she sent him an old e-mail full of instructions he'd written for the babysitter. If you want a detailed analysis on how to deal with a child, you're in luck, because Fordiman transcribed the minutiae of his child's existence.
Here it goes:
In case of crying:
A useful section on skills:
And of course a quick diaper tutorial:
(Which was too long to fit in one image)
Before the final section on, what else, "Interaction":
By now, this couple's notes to babysitters are probably much more concise and simply transmitted. Something along the lines of: "Don't kill the kid, please."