Being a father involves a lot of responsibilities: providing, being a role model, and most important of all: bringing the dad humor. Mastering dad humor starts with a baseline of glorious dad jokes, but also necessitates deliberately embarrassing the crap out of your kids in a hilarious way. To paraphrase the aphorism: Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to get their kid to scream, "ohmygahd dad you're EMBARRASSING ME!" And these redditors' dads are true pros.
1. MasticationAddict unfortunately has the one dad that actually wanted to get out of the car.
You think your dad is terrible? I have to say, its my dad wearing tight biker shorts without a cup when he was picking me up from school in 9th grade. He got out the car so he could meet my friends.
2. Most every dad has done what anthonymyers3000's dad did, but how many are so committed to the bit that they keep it up for an hour?
My dad pretended to go to sleep on one of the store model beds at sears. He kept it up for over an hour while me and my sister pretended not to know him.
3. Sadly, Maxakhan's dad is no longer welcome in Milan, New York, or Japan.
My dad picked my sister and her friend up from their middle school dance in his convertible playing I'm Too Sexy.
4. This dad thinks the Frozen soundtrack is embarrassing, but seems to have no idea that saying "Hashtag YOLO" is way worse.
5. Dads love sports, but no dad loves sports quite like foreoki12's dad.
My dad was a terribly embarrassing spectator at our sports events. He wasn't a Randy Marsh, by any means. Instead he just did things like wear a baseball cap at a weird angle to block the sun, or bring a rocking chair to sit in because bleachers were uncomfortable. Once, after a soccer game, he tried to climb the short chain-link fence that separated the bleachers from the field, and got stuck. With his hat at an absurd jaunty angle, of course. I just about died.
6. The father of this deleted user didn't really intend to embarrass anyone, but daddy is still a man, and daddy's got manly needs.
When I was 16 my friends and I came back from the movies early since the movie sucked. Our reward for leaving the shitty movie early? Seeing my naked parents fucking on the stairway as we walk through the door.
7. TheHollowNoise's dad thinks he's hilarious, but might actually just be kinda racist.
Basically whenever we walk by any foreign person, he just starts talking to them in their accent or even worse, what he thinks is their accent. One in particular stands out though, we were in the city and a Jamaican lady walks up to him and says she'll suck his dick for 10 dollars. So my father looks directly at her and says something like "Mon we not makin a ting about it girl!"
8. Send_Your_Nudes_2_Me was embarrassed, but not as much as Mom.
Me and my dad were at a public boat ramp. It was during a break from school so the place was crowded. My dad is trying to get the boat unhooked while its already in the water and the boat just falls over and he lands in the water. He climbs out soaking wet and screams "I'm as wet as your mother!"
9. User autumnx has the one dad in the world with an interest in contemporary culture beyond Longmire.
Anyway, one time in middle school my dad dropped a group of us off at the mall. We were looking to buy the 50 cent CD as it first came out (yep a group of white female pre-teens). Our town is really small and the store we went to (Fye I believe) sold out of it. The employee said some guy bought the last copy but they'll have more tomorrow. So, we leave. My dad comes to pick us up later and as we get in the car and drive off, we hear a 50 cent song. My dad is rapping along and shows us the CD cover. He bought it. For himself. I was mortified and my friends were amazed.
10. The father of MasterBlaster234, though, seems to have sadly conflated "Gangnam Style" with "Do the Bartman."
My dad just started randomly screaming "Do the Gangnam Style baby!!!" In public, get with the times old man
11. Mindfucker815 has a story that suggests a middle school experience somehow worse than yours.
In 7th grade, my dad was the principal of my middle school. During our awards day at the end of the year he gave me a certificate for having the hottest mom and I had to walk up in front of everyone to get it.
12. This story from PattyCakes1 raises a lot more questions than it answers.
Step dad put me in one of those baby seats on top of a grocery cart then proceded to quickly lock it and walk around the store casually. I was flailing around and screaming like a idiot because i didn't know how to unbuckle it and was so embarrassed to let logic sink in. I was 14 and still very small.
13. Dads be wearing sweaters, and dads be frustratingly shooting video vertically.
14. FoolOfMyself's dad went the gross-out route, but consider the planning that went into this. He had to smuggle the peanut butter outside, wear the right shoes…
My sister had a few of her friends over and they were hanging out on the backyard. My dad gets a big scoop of peanut butter and sticks it on the heel of his sneaker. Walks over to them, "the hell is that on my shoe? Is that dog poop?" Smells it, licks it "Ewwww it is dog poop!" All her friends freak out and my sister is mortified.