Fathers's Day is this Sunday, and Jimmy Fallon is celebrating early by reading the most ridiculous and hilarious dad quotes Twitter has to offer. Sure, sometimes your old man is there to provide you with sage advice and wisdom. Other times...not so much.

These aphorisms are not quite "dad jokes," but they come pretty darn close.

From jokes about stud finders to reminding people to practice "safe sax," these are truly words to live by. Watch out, Confucius, these dads are an endless well of cheesy, cheesy wisdom.