Someone recently asked the Internet to share "Don't Tell Your Mother" stories about their fathers, and the results are equal parts hilarious and heartwarming (and sometimes slightly worrying). As much as every child mythologizes their father, inevitably there comes a day when you realize they're human—and while it sometimes happens when they disappoint you, more often it comes when you realize they're just as scared of your mom as you are. That's when you stop being a parent and child and become a team. Here are 15 of the best stories people shared in response to the question:


1. Let's start with a father who made the promise you're supposed to make to your teenagers and followed through like a champ.

2. Now that a responsible story has been told, let's pivot to the dad who put himself on the line for his horny son and bears a limp of honor to this day.

3. Your parents changed hundreds of dirty diapers for you. The least you could do is keep one secret.

3. This kid who was denied junk food as a kid (except this one time), which perhaps explains why "Burgerplease" became their online username.


4. This father who bonded with his daughter's boyfriend over beer, "church porn," and a holy fear of her mother.

5. This dad/child combo who proved that the responsibility-shirking acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.

6. This dad whose secret activities turned out to be the opposite of cheating.


7. Being allowed to see "age inappropriate" movies is a common way dads everywhere bond with their kids. Of course, sometimes it backfires.

8. Going back to real hero dads, here's a story about why buying books is never spoiling your child.

9. This kid who went to college and still hasn't figured out that his parents were clearly in on his little "scheme."


10. This father who was put in an awkward situation by his son, and really deserves to keep this secret more than anyone else on the list.

11. This dad whose idyllic childhood almost killed his own kids, but only ended up giving them awesome stories.

12. This dad, who silently pulled through every teenager's worst nightmare.


13. This dad who almost lost his new wife after letting his child look after her baby... if by "baby," you mean dog.

14. This father who (probably) gave his kid one free pass in exchange for the digital help many parents so desperately need.

15. Finally, a series of wonderful stories from a daughter who wanted to share some memories of her really cool dad.


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