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There are few things more refreshing than a brutally honest obituary. Because our society has this weird habit of pretending people were perfect after they die and glossing over who they really were.

But a 91-year-old great grandmother from Ohio named Jean Oddi's obituary paints a very clear picture of who she really was: a "bitch" with a "kind heart," according to her granddaughter, 45-year-old Melissa Herby Falter, who penned her grandma's obituary in first-person, Inside Edition reports. She kept it real as heck, just like her grandmother would have wanted.

"I was born. I lived. I died," the obit begins. "I hate to admit it, but evidently I died."

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Evidently she did die, and god damn it I wish she hadn't. Because she is my new best friend and she will be yours, too.

Here's a photo of Oddi (center) with her daughter and granddaughter, and she really does seem like the GOAT:

Posted by Melissa Herby Falter on Monday, February 20, 2017

The hilariously sassy obit continues:

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I guess, after all these years, God finally figured out where to put me. I should have known the end was near after I had to be in room # 20 in the emergency room. I hate even numbers. I'm leaving behind a hell of a lot of stuff Casey and Melissa will have to get rid of. So, if you're looking for random crap, you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch with them.

It then goes on to reveal her love of outlet shopping and throw some major shade at her dad:

But this is not the time to talk about what I may or may not have bought from the JC Penney Outlet or TJ Maxx, this is about me. I was born on September 7, 1925 in blah, blah, blah, the daughter of a wonderful and beautiful woman and an SOB man.

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She then gives an epic list of shout outs to all of her friends and family (it does get a little sad at this point), and outlines her accomplishments, like receiving a "doctorate in Bitchology, please see my card."

At the very end, she drops some brilliant advice which we should all take if we want to end up like her. Obviously, we all do:

Please remember this never let the facts get in the way of a good story, the middle finger is sign language; when someone gives, take; when someone takes, scream, and take care of yourself don't get old. Oh, and don't tell anyone what kind of day to have.

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And she says not to worry, wherever she is now, she's having a hell of a good time:

Don't cry because I'm gone, instead have a drink and be happy you knew me. Maybe you can cry a little bit, because, after all, I died. Now, and forever, I am happy and playing cards, with Jameson but not until 9 p.m. Cheers!

The obit includes information about her service, but with a caveat: "If you are sick, don't bother to come. I might be dead, but I still don't want your germs." Respect!

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Oddi may have passed on. But she has clearly made an impact, even after her death. Her life-changing obit has gone viral, receiving hundreds of comments from complete strangers. Most of them, like me, say they wish they'd known her.

Girl, same. And my right one.
Girl, same. And my right one.
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Now if you'll excuse me, I will be taking the rest of the day off to mourn my new best friend, Jean Oddi. The greatest bitchologist that ever lived.

Sources: Legacy