The "Am I The A**hole?" forum on Reddit exists to help people navigate the often-murky waters of right vs. wrong. But sometimes things seem pretty black and white.

A mom who excluded a boy with "high-functioning autism" from her son's 10th birthday party—while inviting every other kid in the class—took to the internet to ask if she's an ahole. She got her a(hole) handed to her.

The mom writes:

My sons 10th birthday is next saturday and me and my husband have been planned a party for him. To make sure we gave everyone enough time we got invitations ready 2 weeks in advance and I had my son pass them out Friday. We invited every one in his class (he goes to a small private school so there were only 15 kids to invite). Except for one child well call david.

The mom and her husband invited every single child in their son's 15-kid class with the exception of one, "David," who is a "high-functioning autistic child."

Her reasons for excluding this ONE kid from her son's party were: 1) She heard a rumor that David might've had a "meltdown" at another kid's birthday party (what kid hasn't at some point had a meltdown at a birthday party?!) And 2) There are "logistical problems" due to the party taking place in a "loud arcade."

The school my son goes to has a program for special needs kids where they are put into a "normal" class once a week. David is a high functioning autistic child who was put in my sons class to help him socialize and to help the other kids learn to not discriminate against special needs people. From what I know about him and his mother they are just doing their best, and I have nothing against either of them. However, there have been incidents with david before.

Last year through friends I had heard that David had a meltdown at another party he was invited to. I don't know if I believe it but parents who were there say that it was because he wanted to open presents like the birthday boy and when told no freaked out. There are other logistical problems as well (The party will be in a loud arcade) so in the end I decided to not invite david.

When David's mom found out her son was the only one excluded from the birthday, she did what any protective mom would do: she confronted the mom throwing the party, and called her "awful" for excluding her son. Many other parents took her side.

So the mom took to Reddit to ask if she's the a**hole:

Well, after my son passed the invitations word spread around that we had excluded the special needs child in his class. This got back to davids mother who called me last night and confronted me about this. She told me that I am awful for excluding her son and that i'm teaching my son to discriminate. When I brought up the logistics and the past incident she told me that i'm an asshole for assuming what her son can and cant do before hanging up. I woke up this morning to a passive aggressive post by her and many other parents are siding with her.

I just want my son to have a good party and didn't mean anything by this. AITA?

Sometimes it's difficult for an a**hole to realize they're being an a**hole—even when a lot of people are telling them they're being an a**hole. That's what Reddit is for.

People let her know who the a**hole is: her.

immyjrdanceparty points out that she didn't even make an effort to talk to David's mom to address the "meltdown" rumor or to find out if his behavior had improved or what he's like in social situations:

YTA [You're The A**hole]

Look, I understand your concern about the meltdown. But you could have spoken to his parents beforehand about the environment and potential ways to mitigate that; you could have spoken to your son's teacher to see if s/he has advice for how David is in group situations. You don't even know how his behavior may have improved over the past year specifically because of being included socially. This would have been a good chance to teach your son to include people, and instead you taught him it's okay to exclude someone if their disability makes your fun time slightly more difficult.

ValkyrieSword writes:

Exactly. A meltdown at one party doesn't automatically mean he will melt down at ALL parties. You didn't even TRY to find a way to include him.

THis post made me super sad & angry. YTA

And gimmiesomewater notes that a 10th birthday party at an arcade will likely include some meltdowns, with or without David:

Not to mention it’s a 10th birthday party at an arcade. OP, don’t you realize how many meltdowns will occur that day even without David?

jimmyjrdanceparty also points out that meltdowns are totally common from kids:

Great point, I sincerely doubt that none of the other kids in the class have ever melted down at a party. Almost every kid has a meltdown from overstimulation now and again.

And also adults, says CapK473:

I'm 32, it doesnt get better lol

LOL, SAME.

And flowrface points out that the mom's attitude toward people with autism is pretty ignorant/awful:

also, i’d like to throw in how OP thinks that this child is only in the class so that people learn to not discriminate, lol. the child has high functioning autism, he likely functions like a normal child. my mom helped PLENTY of high functioning autistic children when she was an aid, and they were all extremely bright. they just needed some extra help.

OPs whole attitude towards autistic people seems pretty awful.

SmarterThanAKoala agrees:

Seriously, what the fuck? YTA, OP. I have a child with high functioning autism, and this just burns me up.

PandeanPanic weighs in as someone who is on the "higher end of the spectrum":

yeah as someone on the higher end of the spectrum people tend to either thing I don't suffer from issues at all or that I'm a particularly dim five year old in a 23 year old woman's body.

Versus, like, me just being an actual person with special needs that vary in certain areas.

I feel so bad for this kid. Especially because it reads like the invitations were passed out during classtime. Which like, if everyone is watching, fucking hurts. I've been there.

And yeah they're not gonna stick a super low functioning autistic kid in a normal classroom to teach kids not to discriminate that's not how that works.

There are many, many other comments on the post, all of them echoing similar sentiment. Hopefully the mom reads them all, and apologizes to this kid, and his mom, for excluding him and perpetuating harmful stereotypes about people with autism.

Even a**holes can change—and hopefully this one does.

A mom who excluded a boy with "high-functioning autism" from her son's 10th birthday party—while inviting every other kid in the class—took to the internet to ask if she's an a**hole. She got her a**(hole) handed to her.

When David's mom found out her son was the only one excluded from the birthday, she did what any protective mom would do: she confronted the mom throwing the party, and called her "awful" for excluding her son. Many other parents took her side.

People let her know who the a**hole is: her.

A mom who excluded a boy with "high-functioning autism" from her son's 10th birthday party—while inviting every other kid in the class—took to the internet to ask if she's an ahole. She got her a(hole) handed to her.

Mom asks if she was wrong for excluding son's autistic classmate from his 10th birthday party.