Parenting Tips

<p>Are you ever too old to need tender loving care from your family? This father believes that once you turn 18, you&#39;re on your own, however, his wife, Reddit user <a data-testid="post_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/stepmom_throwaway23/">u/stepmom_throwaway23</a>, completely disagrees. She takes care of her live-in stepdaughter against her husband&#39;s wishes.</p><p>It&#39;s causing problems in their marriage, so now she&#39;s turning to the internet to ask:</p><h1><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sz97qe/aita_for_treating_my_step_daughter_like_a_baby/">AITA</a> (Am I The As*hole) for treating my stepdaughter &quot;like a baby&quot;?</h1><p>She writes:</p><blockquote> <p>I truly have no idea if i&#39;m in the wrong here or not.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>My (39f) stepdaughter Mei (f20) recently came to live with me and my husband (38m) She moved to the States to live with her boyfriend but the relationship didn&#39;t work so she came to live with us.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She was raised in another country and her mom wouldn&#39;t let her stay here for long periods of time so I never got the chance to actually get close to her until now but we always got along well.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Now onto the issue, my husband and her are not that close and my husband travels a lot because of work, I work from home so obviously get to spend more time with her.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She is not staying here for free, she helps with some bills, food, and whatever she can (I have my own opinion on this but not my child and she doesn&#39;t seem to care about it) but as I said, I do spend time with her and we grew kinda close.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Just like her, I also moved to the States when I was young and I know I was scared and felt alone, Mei has mentioned this too + her break up, she also has a few mental issues, it&#39;s obviously been hard on her so I try to be understanding but my husband thinks I&#39;m too soft on her.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>It all got worse two days ago when Mei got sick, I had to pick her up from work because she didn&#39;t feel safe driving herself home (which I find a very responsible choice), before picking her up I made her bed so she could just come home and rest.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I never do this but she had left in a hurry that morning and she was sick (no, it&#39;s not the virus) she was really thankful for it and it literally took me less than 10 minutes. I have also been keeping an eye on her as she really doesn&#39;t feel good.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>When I told my husband about this, he flipped out. He started screaming about how I need to stop treating Mei as a baby, how she is an adult that should be able to take care of herself, how she only has a stomach bug and how I&#39;m too soft on her.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Again, making her bed took less than 10 minutes, having to pick her up didn&#39;t interrupt my day in any way. He is really upset with me and has barely been talking to me or her.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I don&#39;t feel like I did anything really bad but he is her dad and maybe I am stepping up too much, at this point, I really don&#39;t know. AITA?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>What this so-called father refers to as &quot;babying,&quot; I call being a decent human being. Anyone with half a heart would take care of someone who was sick, let alone a family member. I can&#39;t figure out a single reason why this father would not want his daughter to be taken care of. He is clearly &quot;The As*hole&quot; here, not the stepmom. Redditors agree this caring woman needs to think long and hard about the kind of person she is married to.</p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/icy4633/">icy4633</a></p><blockquote> <p>NTA. Next time hubby dearest falls ill and asks you to help change sheets and stuff, yell at him &ldquo;YOU&#39;RE AN ADULT AND NOT A BABY&rdquo; Pull an Uno Reverse on his ass, let&rsquo;s see how he likes that</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/hunnypot01/">hunnypot01</a></p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>NTA dump your husband and keep your stepdaughter</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sequinhappe/">sequinhappe</a></p><blockquote> <p>What OP did was not required, but WAS kind. I&rsquo;d hope someone else would do the same for me if I was feeling very ill. NTA.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/jam0970/">jam0970</a></p><blockquote> <p>My mum did this for me when I was about 26 and got a bad flu. She came to my home and took care of me for 4 days. It&#39;s called love.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/These-Process-7331/">These-Process-7331</a></p><blockquote> <p>OP first of all: NTA but your husband surely is when it comes to his daughter.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Secondly: If you are open about having kids think hard and long before you do that with this man... you have already seen how he treats 1 kid (eg more of a burden, than loving.)</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>If I have learned one thing from couples around me: don&#39;t have kids with someone who treats his already existing kids like an afterthought/burden because you 100% become a single parent at some point (just like your husband&#39;s ex-wife did)</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Tomnooksmainhoe/">Tomnooksmainhoe</a></p><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m sorry you had to find out this way about how harsh he can be. NTA. I do think that you are an incredibly sweet person who Mei probably really needs in her life right now. Thank you and please keep being you❤️</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/AnnaBanana3468/">AnnaBanana3468</a></p><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m a stepmom. You haven&rsquo;t done anything wrong. My husband would be grateful if I did all that for my stepdaughter.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I think you&rsquo;ve just found out why they are divorced, and why the mom didn&rsquo;t want to let Mei visit. Your husband sounds like a monster.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/scienceishdino/">scienceishdino</a></p><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m a stepdaughter and had my stepmom ever done these things for me, I would have been so grateful!</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Instead, I secretly called her my step monster, and my relationship with my dad severely deteriorated during their marriage.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>OP, you&#39;re doing the right thing. NTA.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Dizzy_Following_4893/">Dizzy_Following_4893</a></p><blockquote> <p>NTA but your husband sure is. Yikes. Kudos for being an actual parent to this young woman, since your husband sounds like a nightmare.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Don&#39;t let him bully you out of treating her (or anyone) well. If screaming at you is common, I&#39;d honestly consider whether you want to stay married to him. You and Mei both deserve better.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/liquormakesyousick/">liquormakesyousick</a></p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>NTA!!!! Thank you for being so kind to your DAUGHTER!</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Ditch the husband and keep the daughter.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she's wrong to 'baby' 20 y/o stepdaughter against husband's wishes.

Are you ever too old to need tender loving care from your family? This father believes that once you turn 18, you&#39;re on your own, however, his wife, Reddit user u/stepmom_throwaway23, completely disagrees. She takes care of her live-in stepdaughter against her husband&#39;s wishes.It&#39;s causing problems in their marriage, so now she&#39;s turning to the internet to ask:AITA (Am I The As*hole) for treating my stepdaughter &quot;like a baby&quot;?She writes: I truly have no idea if i&#39;m in the wrong here or not.  My (39f) stepdaughter Mei (f20) recently came to live with me and my husband (38m) She moved to the States to live with her boyfriend but the relationship didn&#39;t work so she came to live with us.  She was raised in another country and her mom wouldn&#39;t let her stay here for long periods of time so I never got the chance to actually get close to her until now but we always got along well.  Now onto the issue, my husband and her are not that close and my husband travels a lot because of work, I work from home so obviously get to spend more time with her.  She is not staying here for free, she helps with some bills, food, and whatever she can (I have my own opinion on this but not my child and she doesn&#39;t seem to care about it) but as I said, I do spend time with her and we grew kinda close.  Just like her, I also moved to the States when I was young and I know I was scared and felt alone, Mei has mentioned this too + her break up, she also has a few mental issues, it&#39;s obviously been hard on her so I try to be understanding but my husband thinks I&#39;m too soft on her.  It all got worse two days ago when Mei got sick, I had to pick her up from work because she didn&#39;t feel safe driving herself home (which I find a very responsible choice), before picking her up I made her bed so she could just come home and rest.  I never do this but she had left in a hurry that morning and she was sick (no, it&#39;s not the virus) she was really thankful for it and it literally took me less than 10 minutes. I have also been keeping an eye on her as she really doesn&#39;t feel good.  When I told my husband about this, he flipped out. He started screaming about how I need to stop treating Mei as a baby, how she is an adult that should be able to take care of herself, how she only has a stomach bug and how I&#39;m too soft on her.  Again, making her bed took less than 10 minutes, having to pick her up didn&#39;t interrupt my day in any way. He is really upset with me and has barely been talking to me or her.  I don&#39;t feel like I did anything really bad but he is her dad and maybe I am stepping up too much, at this point, I really don&#39;t know. AITA? What this so-called father refers to as &quot;babying,&quot; I call being a decent human being. Anyone with half a heart would take care of someone who was sick, let alone a family member. I can&#39;t figure out a single reason why this father would not want his daughter to be taken care of. He is clearly &quot;The As*hole&quot; here, not the stepmom. Redditors agree this caring woman needs to think long and hard about the kind of person she is married to.icy4633 NTA. Next time hubby dearest falls ill and asks you to help change sheets and stuff, yell at him &ldquo;YOU&#39;RE AN ADULT AND NOT A BABY&rdquo; Pull an Uno Reverse on his ass, let&rsquo;s see how he likes that hunnypot01 NTA dump your husband and keep your stepdaughter sequinhappe What OP did was not required, but WAS kind. I&rsquo;d hope someone else would do the same for me if I was feeling very ill. NTA. jam0970 My mum did this for me when I was about 26 and got a bad flu. She came to my home and took care of me for 4 days. It&#39;s called love. These-Process-7331 OP first of all: NTA but your husband surely is when it comes to his daughter.  Secondly: If you are open about having kids think hard and long before you do that with this man... you have already seen how he treats 1 kid (eg more of a burden, than loving.)  If I have learned one thing from couples around me: don&#39;t have kids with someone who treats his already existing kids like an afterthought/burden because you 100% become a single parent at some point (just like your husband&#39;s ex-wife did) Tomnooksmainhoe I&#39;m sorry you had to find out this way about how harsh he can be. NTA. I do think that you are an incredibly sweet person who Mei probably really needs in her life right now. Thank you and please keep being you❤️ AnnaBanana3468 I&rsquo;m a stepmom. You haven&rsquo;t done anything wrong. My husband would be grateful if I did all that for my stepdaughter.  I think you&rsquo;ve just found out why they are divorced, and why the mom didn&rsquo;t want to let Mei visit. Your husband sounds like a monster. scienceishdino I&#39;m a stepdaughter and had my stepmom ever done these things for me, I would have been so grateful!  Instead, I secretly called her my step monster, and my relationship with my dad severely deteriorated during their marriage.  OP, you&#39;re doing the right thing. NTA. Dizzy_Following_4893 NTA but your husband sure is. Yikes. Kudos for being an actual parent to this young woman, since your husband sounds like a nightmare.  Don&#39;t let him bully you out of treating her (or anyone) well. If screaming at you is common, I&#39;d honestly consider whether you want to stay married to him. You and Mei both deserve better. liquormakesyousick NTA!!!! Thank you for being so kind to your DAUGHTER!  Ditch the husband and keep the daughter. 

Are you ever too old to need tender loving care from your family? This father believes that once you turn 18, you&#39;re on your own, however, his wife, Reddit user u/stepmom_throwaway23, completely disagrees. She takes care of her live-in...