Guest reacts to wedding invite telling new mom to breastfeed in bathroom.
Your wedding is supposed to be your day, customized to your exact specifications. But what happens when your perfect day stomps directly on someone else's rights?
That's exactly what happened to one bride and her BFF guest, reports by Babble. They found a post on the Facebook page Breastfeeding Mama Talk about a wedding invite gone wrong.
Along with the wedding invite, the bride sent an insert that explained their wedding would have "an appropriate place for you to feed your baby." At first, it seems like a considerate gesture, especially since the area was described as "a comfortable and private area with chairs and baby blankets in the ladies room." But the invite also made the couple's feelings about breastfeeding in public very clear.
The couple explained that they had created the breastfeeding nook so that "you do not have to [breastfeed] in public in front of our family and friends," (Emphasis theirs.) The wording makes it clear that mothers aren't being given a comfy area, they're being shuttled out of sight.
"I don't eat in the bathroom I'm not feeding my child in there!" wrote the wedding guest. Instead, she considered leaving her 3-month-old with a friend, but the couple also refused that idea. It seems that they want the baby at the wedding — but on their terms. News flash: babies only abide by their own terms.
The post reads:
This is disgusting, but unfortunately this is not surprising. It's never okay to expect or demand that a mom breastfeed in a private area. Even if the private area isn't a bathroom nursing nooks/rooms are for the mom and babies comfort not everyone else's.
How would you feel if your family and friends knew you breastfed and went out of their way to insist you breastfeed in a bathroom? What is also ironic is she was going to leave her children at home and have her friend wet nurse and they weren't okay with that either.
"This was in the invitation to my husband's best friends wedding. My husband is the best man so it will just be me in the crowd. We have had several arguments over "my" breastfeeding ways and they have multiple times voiced that I need to go elsewhere to do that in "private!"
I was going to just be nice and let my best girl friend watch my two kids (ages 2 and 3 months) and she would wet nurse my youngest (she's still nursing her 2 year old as well) because we haven't found a bottle my youngest will take yet and wet nursing doesn't bother me. Hubby and I were just gonna make it a date night...
But apparently that wasn't okay either. so I said would just bring my littlest baby to the wedding then, but no way in hell I will leave and nurse her in the bathroom (no matter how "nice" they make it!) I don't eat in the bathroom I'm not feeding my child in there!... I want to be "nice" as possible but what should I do!? Go ahead and leave her with my friend (who by the way has nursed her multiple times) or take her!? Help!"
The more we allow mothers to be shoved into bathrooms and breastfeeding areas, the further we get from destigmatizing breastfeeding. In this case, it also serves to make breastfeeding mothers feel unwanted. This bride may have gotten her wedding day wish, but she also lost a friend.